I received an email from a friend of mine this morning. The email was written as sort of a "heads up" about giving to nonprofit foundations that support other organizations that may not be in line with ones "moral compass." While I appreciate where she was headed with the email - I am looking to the potential damage it can do. Let me explain.
Right now I'm enrolled in an MBA program. I have Business Economics (I could go on and on in another post) and what I've gotten thus far is this....economics is all about trade offs. By choosing one aspect over another there are certain costs and sometimes choices are made withouth thinking about the secondary effects.
The email was sent to raise awareness about the misuse of funds. A particluar foundation gave money in support of a cancer program the grant seeking organization never enacted. Instead, the funds were thought to support another program, specifically abortion. So the idea behind the email was to "inform" me, before I decided to support the unnamed foundation via a walk/run etc. I should be aware what I "think" I'm raising funds for...I'm not.
So I took it upon myself to check out Guidestar and the Form 990. What I discovered is this Foundation spends hundreds and thousands of dollars supporting other organizations that do exactly what they are supposed to do with the monies! Pages upon pages list Universities and University Medical Centers - all of which are the hubs of brilliant minds that may one day develop a cure for cancer.
So, back to the email that was sent - encouraging me "not" to support the Foundation because it supports an organization that supports pro abortion. Yet, the Foundation is impacting and making real strides in supporting education, awareness and research of cancer (pro life? If I try to develop a cure for something that kills people...is that pro-life too?). Consider for a moment I forward this particular email to everyone I know and individuals decide to withhold their donations on the grounds one specific organization misused funds. We must ask ourvselves...what are the potential "side effects?"
There was no mention of the fact the Foundation has not made an recent contributions to this organization as well....as far as I'm concerned it is old news.
What I struggle with is the idea of being short-sighted. Stop giving - without considering the amount of good. I guess it goes back to the other book I started to read (and never finished) called "The Paradox of Choice" - we can ask ten people what they think about a paricular automobile and have ten favorable reviews, yet once one person indicates they've had trouble with that particular auto - we can't let it go. We most often, will take the 1 negative over the 10 positives and make that negative influence our decision.
Do I let 72 grants made over 5 years to an organization that supports abortion influence my opportunity to support an foundation that has given thousands of grants over 15 (or even more) years to organizations that truly value quality of life? I guess I have to weigh the costs...and I don't have to think very hard.
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
School shopping and underage drinking....
Ok. I took the kiddies out school shopping for all their supplies needed to survive the school year. Markers, crayons, spiral bound 80 and 60 page notebooks (which you cannot find either), pencil boxes, pink pearl erasers, Kleenex, wet wipes, quart size storage bags, pocket folders....yeah the list goes on and on. Yet, it was one purchase I want to discuss. The backpack.
Office Max had great deals yesterday and while I had hoped to find a backpack for my daughter elsewhere, she found a cute pink one there. I didn't pressure her to shop somewhere else because the backpack was a reasonable price AND it was 25 percent off. When I took it to the cashier I was asked "Would you like to buy the protection plan?"
"Protection plan?" I asked.
"Yes." "For an additional $2.95 you have a full year of coverage against broken zippers or if the bottom falls out of it, you can bring it back and we'll exchange it."
"Oh. So if I don't purchase the plan and the bottom falls out, I can't bring it back?"
"Well, no, not if it doesn't happen right away."
"How long do I have to bring back a crappy backpack if it falls apart?"
"I'll have to check...hold on."
So. With that the cashier pushes a button on her headset to speak with a manager.
In the meantime, I'm chatting with the woman in back of me.
"Wow. I can't believe that you have to pay extra in order to cover crappy workmanship."
The woman behind me agrees "Perhaps you should spend more money and get a better made bag."
Thinking she is correct, but not wanting to spend more than the $25.00 I was already shelling out I decided to take my chances. Looking to the cashier for an answer.
I have until September 20, 2008 for the zippers to break and the bottom to fall out of the bag in order to receive a full replacement.
Is this just a sign of the times?
I'm beginning to wonder!
Today I read in the Washington Post there are those who are proposing lowering the drinking age to prevent binge drinking. What? The problem here is not the age of the drinkers. The problem is the idea one must drink to get drunk! There are many adults who haven't figured this out and I'm sure lowering the drinking age will not solve the issue either. Why do we as a nation insist of trying to fix problems without working to find the root of the problem?
From immigration reform, healthcare issues to teenage pregnancy - the answers to all of these issues land in the root causes! Work hard to solve the problem by digging below the surface. I do not know why kids tend to binge drink. Perhaps binge drinking is the only way they understand how to drink - it is what they perceive to be cool, the only way they perceive they can have any fun, the only way to strike up a converstation with the opposite sex...you name it - there is a reason. What I do not understand is why we don't have converstations with our children about respect.
We can develop a resepct for ourselves, for the beverage, for our body, mind and spirit. We can learn moderation. We can learn self control. We can learn to respect.
I do think I should be able to let my children have a glass of wine with their pasta. I do think my children should be able to have a celebratory drink at a wedding or other special occasion. I do think I should be able to teach my children there is nothing special about alcohol - only that if you disrespect the power of the drink, you can lose everything.
We teach our children to ride bikes with helmets. We teach our children to walk across the street by looking both ways...why can't we teach our children about alcohol? Why must we treat it as if it is something forbidden? It is the way we teach that leads to the undesirable behavior.
Lower the drinking age? No. I don't think so. But take the time to teach your children...I think we should...but education is just another one of those things the general public thinks should be left to some else. That my friends is another blog entirely.
In the mean time - I'm going to test the strength of the backpack by shoving it full of everything that needs to go to school that first day. Yet...I can stop worrying about fixing the "workmanship issue" by purchasing a protection plan and while I'm spending more money to cover a product the store won't even stand behind I can only hope the drinking age will be lowered to the age of 6. Then my daughter can drown her sorrows over a ripped backpack with a case of Sam Adams and I can stand back and not take any responsibility for any of it.
Is this really the American way? Good Lord, help us all! (That is as long as I can say Good Lord).
Office Max had great deals yesterday and while I had hoped to find a backpack for my daughter elsewhere, she found a cute pink one there. I didn't pressure her to shop somewhere else because the backpack was a reasonable price AND it was 25 percent off. When I took it to the cashier I was asked "Would you like to buy the protection plan?"
"Protection plan?" I asked.
"Yes." "For an additional $2.95 you have a full year of coverage against broken zippers or if the bottom falls out of it, you can bring it back and we'll exchange it."
"Oh. So if I don't purchase the plan and the bottom falls out, I can't bring it back?"
"Well, no, not if it doesn't happen right away."
"How long do I have to bring back a crappy backpack if it falls apart?"
"I'll have to check...hold on."
So. With that the cashier pushes a button on her headset to speak with a manager.
In the meantime, I'm chatting with the woman in back of me.
"Wow. I can't believe that you have to pay extra in order to cover crappy workmanship."
The woman behind me agrees "Perhaps you should spend more money and get a better made bag."
Thinking she is correct, but not wanting to spend more than the $25.00 I was already shelling out I decided to take my chances. Looking to the cashier for an answer.
I have until September 20, 2008 for the zippers to break and the bottom to fall out of the bag in order to receive a full replacement.
Is this just a sign of the times?
I'm beginning to wonder!
Today I read in the Washington Post there are those who are proposing lowering the drinking age to prevent binge drinking. What? The problem here is not the age of the drinkers. The problem is the idea one must drink to get drunk! There are many adults who haven't figured this out and I'm sure lowering the drinking age will not solve the issue either. Why do we as a nation insist of trying to fix problems without working to find the root of the problem?
From immigration reform, healthcare issues to teenage pregnancy - the answers to all of these issues land in the root causes! Work hard to solve the problem by digging below the surface. I do not know why kids tend to binge drink. Perhaps binge drinking is the only way they understand how to drink - it is what they perceive to be cool, the only way they perceive they can have any fun, the only way to strike up a converstation with the opposite sex...you name it - there is a reason. What I do not understand is why we don't have converstations with our children about respect.
We can develop a resepct for ourselves, for the beverage, for our body, mind and spirit. We can learn moderation. We can learn self control. We can learn to respect.
I do think I should be able to let my children have a glass of wine with their pasta. I do think my children should be able to have a celebratory drink at a wedding or other special occasion. I do think I should be able to teach my children there is nothing special about alcohol - only that if you disrespect the power of the drink, you can lose everything.
We teach our children to ride bikes with helmets. We teach our children to walk across the street by looking both ways...why can't we teach our children about alcohol? Why must we treat it as if it is something forbidden? It is the way we teach that leads to the undesirable behavior.
Lower the drinking age? No. I don't think so. But take the time to teach your children...I think we should...but education is just another one of those things the general public thinks should be left to some else. That my friends is another blog entirely.
In the mean time - I'm going to test the strength of the backpack by shoving it full of everything that needs to go to school that first day. Yet...I can stop worrying about fixing the "workmanship issue" by purchasing a protection plan and while I'm spending more money to cover a product the store won't even stand behind I can only hope the drinking age will be lowered to the age of 6. Then my daughter can drown her sorrows over a ripped backpack with a case of Sam Adams and I can stand back and not take any responsibility for any of it.
Is this really the American way? Good Lord, help us all! (That is as long as I can say Good Lord).
Monday, August 11, 2008
How to argue and win...every time!
I started reading a book last night by Gerry Spense called "How to Argue and Win Every Time." I only started reading it because I was trying to clean up my house a bit - you know the whole clean sweep concept where you take everything, sort through it, decide what to keep, what to donate and what to sell. Well with this stack of books I thought..."maybe I should read them before I give them away."
I chose this particular book because I am a terrible when it comes to arguments. I am like a five year old. I ask permission of my folks and my spouse and when I don't get the desired result I feel as if I've done something wrong by asking. How is it I hand someone else the power? What I am hoping to achieve is to learn the appropriate way to handle certain situations that arise and what I can do to make it so each side is happy with the result.
Case in point. Last week while my children were up with their grandparents and my husband on the road I found myself alone. Alone time is good. Alone time is great. Yet, when I'm alone, I begin to think how I can fill my house with life and love. I began to think about hosting an exchange student. So I found a site online that shares their applicants and immediately found a young man I thought would be a perfect fit for our home. Without consulting the husband, I went ahead and made contact with the local placement person and scheduled a home interview. The woman said "Do you think your husband will go along with this?" I believed he would, especially if we could get the kid into our home school district. So when I hung up the phone I thought to myself "Yeah! We're hosting an exchange student!" Wrong.
Thing is, I approached the phone conversation with my husband the wrong way. I sought his permission. Like a child, I asked to host. Like a parent, he explained all the reasons I shouldn't. I didn't have an argument to win because I didn't approach it correctly.
The book is quite interesting - as it talks about the reasons why people don't win arguments. It mostly has something to do with "Locks." We lock ourselves into situations and we alone hold the keys to that lock. I know and understand I am used to being told what to do. I know and understand I am used to believing others have more authority because I have a hard time admitting I know enough.
Inside there is a very strong person dying to get out. Inside there is a woman that knows she is as special as sliced bread. But with a lifetime of seeking approval - it is difficult to simply break out. I need to find the keys to my own locks. I need to finish this book and I can't do it when I'm blogging!
I chose this particular book because I am a terrible when it comes to arguments. I am like a five year old. I ask permission of my folks and my spouse and when I don't get the desired result I feel as if I've done something wrong by asking. How is it I hand someone else the power? What I am hoping to achieve is to learn the appropriate way to handle certain situations that arise and what I can do to make it so each side is happy with the result.
Case in point. Last week while my children were up with their grandparents and my husband on the road I found myself alone. Alone time is good. Alone time is great. Yet, when I'm alone, I begin to think how I can fill my house with life and love. I began to think about hosting an exchange student. So I found a site online that shares their applicants and immediately found a young man I thought would be a perfect fit for our home. Without consulting the husband, I went ahead and made contact with the local placement person and scheduled a home interview. The woman said "Do you think your husband will go along with this?" I believed he would, especially if we could get the kid into our home school district. So when I hung up the phone I thought to myself "Yeah! We're hosting an exchange student!" Wrong.
Thing is, I approached the phone conversation with my husband the wrong way. I sought his permission. Like a child, I asked to host. Like a parent, he explained all the reasons I shouldn't. I didn't have an argument to win because I didn't approach it correctly.
The book is quite interesting - as it talks about the reasons why people don't win arguments. It mostly has something to do with "Locks." We lock ourselves into situations and we alone hold the keys to that lock. I know and understand I am used to being told what to do. I know and understand I am used to believing others have more authority because I have a hard time admitting I know enough.
Inside there is a very strong person dying to get out. Inside there is a woman that knows she is as special as sliced bread. But with a lifetime of seeking approval - it is difficult to simply break out. I need to find the keys to my own locks. I need to finish this book and I can't do it when I'm blogging!
Friday, July 18, 2008
John McCain doesn't know how to do what?
I heard on the news the other day that John McCain does not know how to operate a computer. Now, I know I am not supposed to believe everything I hear on the news (or should I say trust) but I have strong reason to believe he doesn't have a computer in his personal office. Why? Because he hasn't responded to my letter that I sent via a "fill in the blank" to his office in D.C.
I had convinced myself Senator McCain would reply to my letter as it was filled with much passion and a plea for help. I sat up until 4 AM reading testimony about the abuse of nonprofit organizations which are supposed to serve our veteran's of the armed services. I do not want to admit my disbelief, as I know there are many, many questionable organizations, yet I sat there, reading and re-reading testimony that broke my heart.
I wrote to Senator McCain asking for help, asking for guidance and asking for action to be taken against organizations that use and abuse service members - using them as "front men" to secure funds for one thing and have the board simply turn the other way as money is funneled into roundtrip airfares, country club memberships, bonuses and the like. I wrote to Senator McCain because of his involvement with veteran's affairs and the fact he too is a veteran. I thought I'd at least get something from his office...but now that I know he doesn't use a computer, I know someone in his office didn't feel it necessary to pass on the info. Do I think it will be any different if I send a letter? Perhaps not - but then I won't have an excuse for him not writing back...
Got any ideas who else I should write? Maybe I'll try Senator Obama...I'll let you know.
I had convinced myself Senator McCain would reply to my letter as it was filled with much passion and a plea for help. I sat up until 4 AM reading testimony about the abuse of nonprofit organizations which are supposed to serve our veteran's of the armed services. I do not want to admit my disbelief, as I know there are many, many questionable organizations, yet I sat there, reading and re-reading testimony that broke my heart.
I wrote to Senator McCain asking for help, asking for guidance and asking for action to be taken against organizations that use and abuse service members - using them as "front men" to secure funds for one thing and have the board simply turn the other way as money is funneled into roundtrip airfares, country club memberships, bonuses and the like. I wrote to Senator McCain because of his involvement with veteran's affairs and the fact he too is a veteran. I thought I'd at least get something from his office...but now that I know he doesn't use a computer, I know someone in his office didn't feel it necessary to pass on the info. Do I think it will be any different if I send a letter? Perhaps not - but then I won't have an excuse for him not writing back...
Got any ideas who else I should write? Maybe I'll try Senator Obama...I'll let you know.
Friday, July 4, 2008
what am I thinking????
You know - I'm turning this blog into something quite ordinary and boring - I've always prided myself on being able to really look into issues, offer a different viewpoint and support my views with evidence, yet since I've been out of school I've been terribly lazy! I write about my kids and where we've been, why am I not discussing things with more passion?
Well, I've had a few days in the car to think about many things, politics and religion mostly - things your aren't supposed to bring up at family reunions and such, but when you aren't able to discuss the foundations of our country what is left? Sports? Movie Stars? The Weather?
Well, if I were to discuss sports, I'd bring up women's softball. Why on earth do they wear shorts? If I were to discuss movie stars I'd want to ask why star power automatically gives you credibility. If I talked about the weather, I'd casually mention today hit 113 degrees F and the hot weather must have a relationship with the price of gas as entering California the gas jumped an entire dollar ($5.29 a gal.).
So. If I could discuss politics, I'd want to pick the brains of those with Homeland Security. Did you know there is a form for those who are not American citizens to fill out - the first question on it asks point blank "Are you a terrorist? Yes or No." Are you kidding me? The only thing we can figure is the government has to ask for legal reasons - hell, the only way Al Capone served any time was because he was cited for tax evasion. Go figure...but it is something to think about - and I also have to consider the notion - there are those that say "I wasn't asked if I was a _____? I put blank because you can put in your own words such as "I wasn't asked if I was a theif" says the man who runs the cash register or "I wasn't asked if I was a sex offender" says the teacher in an 8th grade classroom. I think you get the picture.
Yet, what is the perception of the TSA when they hand someone a form with the leading question "Are you a terrorist?" Are we allowed to ask someone if they are in this country illegally? Even if it is legal...haven't we found it may not be politically correct? Just something to make you think...
Maybe I'll bring up more later - but just think about what I've said for now. I'll make a pledge to write more compelling posts for the future. Have a wonderful 4th of July and remember why this day is so important and what it really means to be an American.
Well, I've had a few days in the car to think about many things, politics and religion mostly - things your aren't supposed to bring up at family reunions and such, but when you aren't able to discuss the foundations of our country what is left? Sports? Movie Stars? The Weather?
Well, if I were to discuss sports, I'd bring up women's softball. Why on earth do they wear shorts? If I were to discuss movie stars I'd want to ask why star power automatically gives you credibility. If I talked about the weather, I'd casually mention today hit 113 degrees F and the hot weather must have a relationship with the price of gas as entering California the gas jumped an entire dollar ($5.29 a gal.).
So. If I could discuss politics, I'd want to pick the brains of those with Homeland Security. Did you know there is a form for those who are not American citizens to fill out - the first question on it asks point blank "Are you a terrorist? Yes or No." Are you kidding me? The only thing we can figure is the government has to ask for legal reasons - hell, the only way Al Capone served any time was because he was cited for tax evasion. Go figure...but it is something to think about - and I also have to consider the notion - there are those that say "I wasn't asked if I was a _____? I put blank because you can put in your own words such as "I wasn't asked if I was a theif" says the man who runs the cash register or "I wasn't asked if I was a sex offender" says the teacher in an 8th grade classroom. I think you get the picture.
Yet, what is the perception of the TSA when they hand someone a form with the leading question "Are you a terrorist?" Are we allowed to ask someone if they are in this country illegally? Even if it is legal...haven't we found it may not be politically correct? Just something to make you think...
Maybe I'll bring up more later - but just think about what I've said for now. I'll make a pledge to write more compelling posts for the future. Have a wonderful 4th of July and remember why this day is so important and what it really means to be an American.
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
Where is the time going?
I can hardly believe it is the first day of July. The kids have been out of school for three weeks now and while we have accomplished much, it seems as if summer is slipping away! Yet, these past few weeks we are having a ball. The last week of June we enjoyed having a house full of people - we canoed the Rogue, biked to the ice cream store, jumped on the trampoline, went to the movies and had a blast on the lake. Having the cousins was a delight and of course, Janis was in her glory.
We headed to Springfield, IL to hang for a few days to see grandpa and the rest of the cousins and enjoyed a gymnastics/dance recital. Grace did a great job and I think she was the best of the group - she was able to execute multiple back handsprings and kept a smile the entire time. Leaving there I think I had the best pizza in my life. Gabatonis (I think that is how you spell it) - it is worth the trip to Springfield that is for sure.
Leaving Springfield to start our road trip started with a trip to Cozy Dog - there the kids met a man driving the "Mother Road" in his Austin Healy (I am not a car person so I don't know if I'm spelling it right or not) - the kids thought his car was so cool and they were so polite, he let them climb in for a picture. What a way to start our trip - a little history on Route 66 - and then we were off.
We are road tripping it - stopping a places along the way and seeing the sights along the way. I'll write more later - but as it stands, we all still love each other and the kids are actually making the trip without the help of electronic devices......that in and of itself is cool.
We headed to Springfield, IL to hang for a few days to see grandpa and the rest of the cousins and enjoyed a gymnastics/dance recital. Grace did a great job and I think she was the best of the group - she was able to execute multiple back handsprings and kept a smile the entire time. Leaving there I think I had the best pizza in my life. Gabatonis (I think that is how you spell it) - it is worth the trip to Springfield that is for sure.
Leaving Springfield to start our road trip started with a trip to Cozy Dog - there the kids met a man driving the "Mother Road" in his Austin Healy (I am not a car person so I don't know if I'm spelling it right or not) - the kids thought his car was so cool and they were so polite, he let them climb in for a picture. What a way to start our trip - a little history on Route 66 - and then we were off.
We are road tripping it - stopping a places along the way and seeing the sights along the way. I'll write more later - but as it stands, we all still love each other and the kids are actually making the trip without the help of electronic devices......that in and of itself is cool.
Saturday, June 14, 2008
Summer is here!
Summer time. I love the long days - the warm weather - the late afternoon thunderstorms - the kids playing in the hose - I love summer. I love not being on a schedule and sleeping in until 9 or 9:30. I love cuddling with the kids when they wake up. I love to hear Janis laugh...
Today was just one of those days where the kids, every time they open their mouth, they are telling on one another - but it was also one of those days where I watch them in utter amazement and let them blossom. Today was a day of celebrating life and community...I could also say the entire weekend was embracing differences...
Last night we stopped in Comstock Park to support the local Relay for Life event. One little gal there, the same age as Janis, former gymnastics buddy and soon to be classmate has in-operable brain stem tumor. It goes without saying - she doesn't have long beautiful hair like many of the little girls we know - but that is only "difference" and what we choose to present to our children is not that of hair...but how alike the kids are. They enjoy cotton candy, playing games, running in the rain....they are the same on the inside - their hearts beat the same. So, the event gave me the opportunity to explain to my children the outward appearance of someone is not how we judge - we need to get past the outer core and get to the inside. I think they understand.
The same went for this afternoon at the Taste for Africa event sponsored by the Michigan Alliance for African Women. The primary audience where those from Africa and it was a fantastic event. My children had a blast and they tried so many different foods, listened to different music and made new friends. I think they understand skin color does not define who you are...it is the person underneath and I for one, am proud of my children.
I want my children to recognize they are the future leaders of this country and if we are going to get anywhere in life - we need others - we need a global acceptance with a respect for culture and religion. Notice I say "respect" - it doesn't mean we have to agree with everything in order to be accepting - it only means we respect a culture and a way of life.
So, right now my son is clutching a handmade monkey and my daughter managed to twist off the tail of her hand made beaded elephant and I'm listing to some fantastic music we purchased and writing with a smile on my face. I had a great day and I know my kids did too...they embraced the weekend, celebrated life and community and that is what I'm all about.
Planning another great night up late, watching the kids play outside and looking forward to sleeping in and heading to church in the morning...celebration of life and community continues!
Today was just one of those days where the kids, every time they open their mouth, they are telling on one another - but it was also one of those days where I watch them in utter amazement and let them blossom. Today was a day of celebrating life and community...I could also say the entire weekend was embracing differences...
Last night we stopped in Comstock Park to support the local Relay for Life event. One little gal there, the same age as Janis, former gymnastics buddy and soon to be classmate has in-operable brain stem tumor. It goes without saying - she doesn't have long beautiful hair like many of the little girls we know - but that is only "difference" and what we choose to present to our children is not that of hair...but how alike the kids are. They enjoy cotton candy, playing games, running in the rain....they are the same on the inside - their hearts beat the same. So, the event gave me the opportunity to explain to my children the outward appearance of someone is not how we judge - we need to get past the outer core and get to the inside. I think they understand.
The same went for this afternoon at the Taste for Africa event sponsored by the Michigan Alliance for African Women. The primary audience where those from Africa and it was a fantastic event. My children had a blast and they tried so many different foods, listened to different music and made new friends. I think they understand skin color does not define who you are...it is the person underneath and I for one, am proud of my children.
I want my children to recognize they are the future leaders of this country and if we are going to get anywhere in life - we need others - we need a global acceptance with a respect for culture and religion. Notice I say "respect" - it doesn't mean we have to agree with everything in order to be accepting - it only means we respect a culture and a way of life.
So, right now my son is clutching a handmade monkey and my daughter managed to twist off the tail of her hand made beaded elephant and I'm listing to some fantastic music we purchased and writing with a smile on my face. I had a great day and I know my kids did too...they embraced the weekend, celebrated life and community and that is what I'm all about.
Planning another great night up late, watching the kids play outside and looking forward to sleeping in and heading to church in the morning...celebration of life and community continues!
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