Smells

Smells. They are simply amazing and I wonder how different the world would be without them. Such an odd thought don't you think? But I only bring it up because the other day a particular smell brought back a flood of memories.

I used to be a swimmer. I learned to swim when I was about eight or nine. Sort of old for my age but I really hated the water as a small child. Not sure why - but I just didn't like it. I remember my mom throwing me in a swimming pool (I had a life jacket on) at a birthday party - I had to have been five or so and when I was tossed in the jacket pulled above my head and I couldn't see anything around me but orange - my legs kicking - arms flailing and my voice screaming. I don't know if I was screaming because I was angry about being thrown in, or scared of being in the water. Yet, it isn't this part of the story that matters...it is the fact that from the age of nine to seventeen I spent the majority of my free time swimming competitively.

I enjoyed it and for the life of me I'm not sure why. But for those eight years I spent a lot of time and hours in the pool - fall, winter, spring and summer. Chlorine is a smell in and of itself - not a very friendly smell or one that you want to bottle and sell - but it is a smell - a faintness of it on a swim suit or wet towel that makes me remember some of the best times.

I loved my first competitive swim team - it was one for the Rockford Community Ed. I think they are called the Riptide now - but I remember Chris Ingrahm, and Bill Kemp some of my first coaches. I remember my first competitive swim suit - it was red with white strips - I remember my first DQ, the stuffed Ram on the 3m diving board. I remember sharks and minnows and swimming on Valentines Day holding hands for a sweetheart swim with Mike Westgate (he probably would never remember - but it stuck in my head).

I remember dry land and weight lifting - Jenny Moore hitting her chin on the bottom of the pool and being nicknamed "Chin Strap" for the rest of her community ed career. I remember my first relay team Anna, Katrina, Ashley and me. We formed friendships and community and some of my best memories were from the times I swam.

I remember drinking chocolate shakes at the Old Mill in Rockford and getting my best times and thinking I had to have a chocolate shake each and every time....2:16 in the 200 free - it was my personal best as a 10 or 11 year old.

I remember thinking I wanted to be a part of the Monster Squad - and working my rear end off to be a part of Spyke Johnson's crew - never really made the offical "sqad" but put in the work to be a 'thunderbird' - 5:30 swims before school and the 5:00-7:00 swims after. I remember Reggie Thomas and his sign language - Raider swim camps and Dick Koperski. I remember earning my Varisty letter as a freshman and being the only freshman to place in city finals.


So the other day, when I decided to get back in the pool and swim laps (which has been at least 9 years) I swam at the pool I first began my swimming career. The diving boards are gone and the starting blocks are at the deep end now (probably because Jenny Moore wasn't the only one that hit the bottom). I began thinking a ton of thoughts: how boring is this, why did I ever like this, how did I ever make friends, I think I liked this because I never felt sweat drip down my face or back, I wonder how far I can swim, I wonder what happened to Chris and Bill...and then before I knew it - time was up. I had to get out.

Yet, after I was dressed and leaving the locker room, and heading out the door - I had the "smell" the crisp air smell - the smell I remember so many years ago and I knew - I've missed that smell. I felt good. I felt happy and I knew I couldn't wait to get back in the pool.

The smell of crisp air. It was amazing.

Oh those emails!

I received an email from a friend of mine this morning. The email was written as sort of a "heads up" about giving to nonprofit foundations that support other organizations that may not be in line with ones "moral compass." While I appreciate where she was headed with the email - I am looking to the potential damage it can do. Let me explain.

Right now I'm enrolled in an MBA program. I have Business Economics (I could go on and on in another post) and what I've gotten thus far is this....economics is all about trade offs. By choosing one aspect over another there are certain costs and sometimes choices are made withouth thinking about the secondary effects.

The email was sent to raise awareness about the misuse of funds. A particluar foundation gave money in support of a cancer program the grant seeking organization never enacted. Instead, the funds were thought to support another program, specifically abortion. So the idea behind the email was to "inform" me, before I decided to support the unnamed foundation via a walk/run etc. I should be aware what I "think" I'm raising funds for...I'm not.

So I took it upon myself to check out Guidestar and the Form 990. What I discovered is this Foundation spends hundreds and thousands of dollars supporting other organizations that do exactly what they are supposed to do with the monies! Pages upon pages list Universities and University Medical Centers - all of which are the hubs of brilliant minds that may one day develop a cure for cancer.

So, back to the email that was sent - encouraging me "not" to support the Foundation because it supports an organization that supports pro abortion. Yet, the Foundation is impacting and making real strides in supporting education, awareness and research of cancer (pro life? If I try to develop a cure for something that kills people...is that pro-life too?). Consider for a moment I forward this particular email to everyone I know and individuals decide to withhold their donations on the grounds one specific organization misused funds. We must ask ourvselves...what are the potential "side effects?"

There was no mention of the fact the Foundation has not made an recent contributions to this organization as well....as far as I'm concerned it is old news.

What I struggle with is the idea of being short-sighted. Stop giving - without considering the amount of good. I guess it goes back to the other book I started to read (and never finished) called "The Paradox of Choice" - we can ask ten people what they think about a paricular automobile and have ten favorable reviews, yet once one person indicates they've had trouble with that particular auto - we can't let it go. We most often, will take the 1 negative over the 10 positives and make that negative influence our decision.

Do I let 72 grants made over 5 years to an organization that supports abortion influence my opportunity to support an foundation that has given thousands of grants over 15 (or even more) years to organizations that truly value quality of life? I guess I have to weigh the costs...and I don't have to think very hard.