I'm getting settled in my new environment here in Quantico, VA. Most of my free time I'm in the car, driving around so I can find all the "necessities" in life. WalMart, Sam's, Target, Aldi, Bed Bath & Beyond, Goodwill, gas stations, coin laundry and various eateries the clan likes to frequent. While I drive, I channel surf the radio and today I stopped on a station offering the local news.
This station was giving a traffic update and I'm quickly learning traffic updates and road closures are a huge heads up around here. I only know two routes US1 and I95 I need to pay attention to a few of the local runs. I listen for roads I have seen during my travels so I can get a mental image how often they have troubles. I95 is not really an exception but there are enough lanes that if something happens one lane can move.
Anyway -when the traffic report was finished the announcer indicated that an Alexandria High School has done away with F as a letter grade. Instead, the school is going to offer an I for incomplete. Needless to say I am appalled. I didn't get introduced to an Incomplete until college and I think that is where the I needs to stay.
Why is it we have become such a society that rewards bad behavior? Why is it we continue down this road of not facing truth? If a student is a failure we are not doing them a favor of offering them a way to avoid the fact. We instead make it acceptable to not rise up and meet the challenge of being a quality student.
What I cannot understand is we have a "free" system of education. In this country each and every person is given the right to an education. Yet, what I've come to determine is when something is given and not earned the value is diminished. There is no value placed on the "free" education we offer and we have created a system where students do not even care enough to show up to class. We have created a system where students deface and destroy school property simply because they are not held responsible for their actions.
Where there is no pride there is no honor.
I am ashamed a school system finds it easier to offer an incomplete rather than to face the fact students are failing. Why are students failing? What is the root cause? If we take a closer look I can almost bet there is not a parent in the home that is actively involved in the child's education. Parents fail their children because the emphasis is placed elsewhere - sports, fashion are just two - we can also blame our own system for perpetuating bad behavior. Yet, are we doing enough as citizens to change the system?
If I had a child at West Potomac, I'd pull my child out of the system and let another district get the tax dollars. If my child does not perform he should fail. How else will my child learn there are consequences for actions? We have to hold our children responsible for their behavior in and out of the classroom. We are not doing this country any favors - these students - the same ones that are taught failure is ok are the same individuals that will need to run this country. I often consider the fall of Rome - one such argument for its fall was incompetent leadership. Need I say more?
We have a responsibility to our youth, we have a responsibility to teach them about success and failure and how to handle each with dignity.
Sunday, November 14, 2010
Sunday, September 12, 2010
So it begins.
I left our home on Friday, September 10 2010 to begin a new journey and adventure. When I left, I left a supportive and loving husband at home and two fantastic children. The night before I cried wondering if I was doing the right thing. Sometimes the right thing is the hardest thing.
Think about it - everything we do that matters does not come easy. We have our challenges to overcome and we work at things. Just as we work at our relationships and our marriages or raising our kids to the best of our ability - we must work for results and it is not easy. I want to be able to provide for my family as well as satisfy a goal - it is not easy.
The first day of driving ended with me at a Holiday Inn near Syracuse. The parking lot of the place was packed and I could not believe the number of cars in the lot. Turned out there was an MMA fight. Huge following for that I guess. The hotel was really nice and I marveled at the fact I had an entire bed to myself and the remote to the television - but I was quite tired so I didn't really have the chance to enjoy the time. In the morning I wanted to get an early start so I simply got up and hit the road.
I ended up in Newport just after 4 PM and wanted to make sure that I stopped downtown to see the area before I headed to base. I also wanted to make sure I shopped for something for Janis for her birthday, which now that I did I'm really glad because I found out this week they won't let us leave the building and that made me feel a bit bad - knowing I can't run out and drop a nice package in the mail to the kids when I feel it necessary.
Yet - it is what it is and here I am. ODS.
I learned how to make a bed. The linens are flat sheets and the bottom sheet, you need to line up exactly with the foot of the mattress, hold taught while someone else pulls the other end of the sheet to the headboard and tucks it in while swooping arms to the side. Then you have to make a 45 degree angle for the tuck. Repeat for both ends of the bed. Bed cover - has to have the 45s too BUT you have a fold down of 12 in. -split the difference and that is a roll down point. Pillow is tucked and taught and centered on the bed.
We will learn teamwork and uniformity - if one person does it, everyone has too. With EVERYTHING - (well not everything) - but - the windows, if one person wants the windows open, they are all open and they are open to the same height. Crazy.
Walking to the bathroom (head) your bath towel is to be draped over your left arm - you walk on the right side of the hall, close to the wall. I can't even begin to think about everything we will have to do - it is crazy. Yet, here I am.
We have to weight & measure tonight so I'm a bit apprehensive - not sure how it will go, hopefully in will be fine.
I have a great roommate - she is a nurse from Phoenix heading to Portsmouth, VA. I've met a number of people but I cannot recall all the names. Shane, a prior service corpsman has been extremely helpful.
Oh - and for the record - living near the water leaves for a horn to blow it seems every min. or two - I think it will soon be like living near the gun club - after a while you don't hear the noise.
I know we do not have it as bad as the OCS guys - I wish I could walk in with a camera to the mess hall because these guys MUST chew so many times - set their cups in the same place, look straight ahead, and then drop the head. It is almost robotic and droan looking - pretty scary- but amazing all at the same time.
Needless to say - this will be an adventure. I am looking forward to the challenge and making many, many friendships along the way.
I'll write again when I can!
Think about it - everything we do that matters does not come easy. We have our challenges to overcome and we work at things. Just as we work at our relationships and our marriages or raising our kids to the best of our ability - we must work for results and it is not easy. I want to be able to provide for my family as well as satisfy a goal - it is not easy.
The first day of driving ended with me at a Holiday Inn near Syracuse. The parking lot of the place was packed and I could not believe the number of cars in the lot. Turned out there was an MMA fight. Huge following for that I guess. The hotel was really nice and I marveled at the fact I had an entire bed to myself and the remote to the television - but I was quite tired so I didn't really have the chance to enjoy the time. In the morning I wanted to get an early start so I simply got up and hit the road.
I ended up in Newport just after 4 PM and wanted to make sure that I stopped downtown to see the area before I headed to base. I also wanted to make sure I shopped for something for Janis for her birthday, which now that I did I'm really glad because I found out this week they won't let us leave the building and that made me feel a bit bad - knowing I can't run out and drop a nice package in the mail to the kids when I feel it necessary.
Yet - it is what it is and here I am. ODS.
I learned how to make a bed. The linens are flat sheets and the bottom sheet, you need to line up exactly with the foot of the mattress, hold taught while someone else pulls the other end of the sheet to the headboard and tucks it in while swooping arms to the side. Then you have to make a 45 degree angle for the tuck. Repeat for both ends of the bed. Bed cover - has to have the 45s too BUT you have a fold down of 12 in. -split the difference and that is a roll down point. Pillow is tucked and taught and centered on the bed.
We will learn teamwork and uniformity - if one person does it, everyone has too. With EVERYTHING - (well not everything) - but - the windows, if one person wants the windows open, they are all open and they are open to the same height. Crazy.
Walking to the bathroom (head) your bath towel is to be draped over your left arm - you walk on the right side of the hall, close to the wall. I can't even begin to think about everything we will have to do - it is crazy. Yet, here I am.
We have to weight & measure tonight so I'm a bit apprehensive - not sure how it will go, hopefully in will be fine.
I have a great roommate - she is a nurse from Phoenix heading to Portsmouth, VA. I've met a number of people but I cannot recall all the names. Shane, a prior service corpsman has been extremely helpful.
Oh - and for the record - living near the water leaves for a horn to blow it seems every min. or two - I think it will soon be like living near the gun club - after a while you don't hear the noise.
I know we do not have it as bad as the OCS guys - I wish I could walk in with a camera to the mess hall because these guys MUST chew so many times - set their cups in the same place, look straight ahead, and then drop the head. It is almost robotic and droan looking - pretty scary- but amazing all at the same time.
Needless to say - this will be an adventure. I am looking forward to the challenge and making many, many friendships along the way.
I'll write again when I can!
Monday, August 9, 2010
Under Scrutiny
I do not watch much television, nor do I listen to a lot of radio. Perhaps it is me, with my head in the sand but if I listened to the news I would be constantly yelling at reporters. I would have a one way debate in which I would surely win. Yet, just yesterday I was riding in the car with my wonderful husband and I listened to a call in show about the recent vacation the First Lady and her daughter have taken to Europe.
Many people were upset because of the sheer cost of the vacation, and yes, I think it is appropriate to question actions when there may be occasions of wasteful spending when taxpayers are footing the bill - but should we be outraged about a 10 day vacation when we can be outraged about the wasteful spending that occurs on a daily basis in this country?
It is easy to pick on someone in the public eye. It is easy to point fingers and judge. So what if Mrs. Obama is wearing a thousand dollar jean top - more power to her! My sister was talking today about someone commenting on her athletic shoes - she has these toe shoes barefoot athletes wear - and she wore them tubing in a river to protect her feet. Apparently one woman could not believe she was wearing "hundred dollar shoes" - apparently she was pretty vocal about how much of a waste it was to spend that much money on shoes. Well - the woman pointing the finger had a tattoo on the back of her neck - should we point out how much ink costs?
We all have things we spend our money on that would not make any sense to anyone else - but does that mean if someone has a lavish spending habit they are wrong? I would say from an accountability standpoint - if the money is being borrowed (government handout, grant, gift or loan) there should be restrictions. Yet, if the person has worked hard and wants to spend their money on a shirt so be it.
So we move to the fact the vacation was in Europe and not in the US. Ok. I've always told my kids they need to see what is here in this country first - to know and understand all regions are different and to explore in our own backyard. We have amazing beauty here and many, many things to do. When we travel we try to find off the beaten path things - like the whistle factory in Columbus, OH, or the New Year's Sausage Drop in a small town near Toledo or even Gotta Groove records, a vinyl pressing factory that makes records in Cleveland, OH. We could bring up Wall Drug, SD, the Cadillac Ranch on the road through Amarillo, or what about the Blue Bell Ice Cream factory in Broken Arrow, OK. These are just a few gems we have here I bet you won't find in Spain.
We have cobble stone streets, beautiful cathedrals and a rich history. We have battlefields and reservations, harbor towns and railroad towns we have much to see and much to explore. We have the mountains and rivers the canyons and prairies and I bet the Obama children have not explored everything we have. But, what I think is the best way to travel is similar to buying a thousand dollar top. I know if I walk into the Salvation Army I can find something cute and fun and pay a few dollars. I also know by shopping there I help individuals make a better life for themselves. I get my satisfaction that way - it is not the same for everyone.
While we can poke and be critical - let us consider the event for what it is - a mother and a daughter on a vacation - seizing opportunity when it comes.
Many people were upset because of the sheer cost of the vacation, and yes, I think it is appropriate to question actions when there may be occasions of wasteful spending when taxpayers are footing the bill - but should we be outraged about a 10 day vacation when we can be outraged about the wasteful spending that occurs on a daily basis in this country?
It is easy to pick on someone in the public eye. It is easy to point fingers and judge. So what if Mrs. Obama is wearing a thousand dollar jean top - more power to her! My sister was talking today about someone commenting on her athletic shoes - she has these toe shoes barefoot athletes wear - and she wore them tubing in a river to protect her feet. Apparently one woman could not believe she was wearing "hundred dollar shoes" - apparently she was pretty vocal about how much of a waste it was to spend that much money on shoes. Well - the woman pointing the finger had a tattoo on the back of her neck - should we point out how much ink costs?
We all have things we spend our money on that would not make any sense to anyone else - but does that mean if someone has a lavish spending habit they are wrong? I would say from an accountability standpoint - if the money is being borrowed (government handout, grant, gift or loan) there should be restrictions. Yet, if the person has worked hard and wants to spend their money on a shirt so be it.
So we move to the fact the vacation was in Europe and not in the US. Ok. I've always told my kids they need to see what is here in this country first - to know and understand all regions are different and to explore in our own backyard. We have amazing beauty here and many, many things to do. When we travel we try to find off the beaten path things - like the whistle factory in Columbus, OH, or the New Year's Sausage Drop in a small town near Toledo or even Gotta Groove records, a vinyl pressing factory that makes records in Cleveland, OH. We could bring up Wall Drug, SD, the Cadillac Ranch on the road through Amarillo, or what about the Blue Bell Ice Cream factory in Broken Arrow, OK. These are just a few gems we have here I bet you won't find in Spain.
We have cobble stone streets, beautiful cathedrals and a rich history. We have battlefields and reservations, harbor towns and railroad towns we have much to see and much to explore. We have the mountains and rivers the canyons and prairies and I bet the Obama children have not explored everything we have. But, what I think is the best way to travel is similar to buying a thousand dollar top. I know if I walk into the Salvation Army I can find something cute and fun and pay a few dollars. I also know by shopping there I help individuals make a better life for themselves. I get my satisfaction that way - it is not the same for everyone.
While we can poke and be critical - let us consider the event for what it is - a mother and a daughter on a vacation - seizing opportunity when it comes.
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Cows on the Freeway
OK. I'm trying something new - sort of prepping for the future and I'm dragging my rear end out of bed at 4:00 AM to head to the gym. I'm not going alone as I'm dragging my sister along with me. We've been at this for a few weeks now with hiccups along the way but this morning I was glad I was up to hear a breaking news report.
"State Police have closed the Northbound and Southbound lanes of US 131 between 14 Mile Rd and 10 Mile Rd. A semi carrying cattle on Southbound US 131 flipped inbetween 13 & 14 Mile Rds and cattle are wandering all over the freeway. This is a dangerous situation because of the darkness. Please exercise caution on surface roads near the area as cattle have dispersed in many different directions."
Cows on the freeway. Good Lord - we have a huge problem with deer now we need to look out for cows. I can only imagine if you hit one in a car what sort of damage would occur. Then it struck me funny - if you hit a cow - do you get to keep the meat? I wondered as I drove down 13 Mile if I would encounter a cow but it didn't happen. Then on my way home - the freeway was still closed and I replayed the scenerio of a few years ago in my head when a peacock wandered into our yard. The peacock had my kids all excited - yelling, screaming, jumping up and down. Dan was home and documented the fact. I could only wonder what would happen if I drove up the driveway and saw a cow in the front yard. I'd be yelling and screaming "Can I keep it?"
It is now 6 hours since the accident and no cow has been spotted in our yard. Darn
So. While at the gym we encounter many different people. One man there in particular has earned the nickname "Hulk" by my sister. He is a short squatty man with huge and I mean huge arms, legs and a huge neck. But there are times when he lifts weights in the area my sister and I frequent.
If I can create a picture - or at least equate the weight area into two sections - big kid pool and wading pool - my sister and I always walk by the big kid pool. It is on the first floor and has numerous free weights and weight machines - it is an intimidating area as there is a lot of grunting and strutting that takes place on the first floor. So - we head upstairs to the family area - where there are cute weight machines in bright red paint with signs on them that say "This equipment was designed for use by children." See how we have big kid pool and kiddie pool distinctions.
Well - we are working out on the machines designed for children and the Hulk comes upstairs and starts playing in our pool. Is this man just trying to show off? Not only that - he will lift and then leave the machine with his pin still in place on the equipment. I'm sorry but I don't enjoy taking the pin out from the very bottom plate (which is about 300 lbs and I am exaggerating here but you get the point) and moving it up to the second plate (which is 40 lbs). It is embarassing and I think the Hulk should go back to his pool and stop peeing in ours.
I've enjoyed my morning workouts at the Y - it is my time with my sister and we have fun and I should go home and shower and become productive but I get sidetracked by walking past the bed. I promise myself I'll only lay down for a few minutes and then instead it is hours later. Yet, the redeaming part of this is the fact I am getting up at my normal time BUT I've also got a workout out of the way. I'm just going to have to learn to function and stay awake...baby steps you know - baby steps.
So - from cows to Hulk like men in the kiddie pool I wonder what else will come our way today - maybe a flying pig? I'd bank on a flying pig.
"State Police have closed the Northbound and Southbound lanes of US 131 between 14 Mile Rd and 10 Mile Rd. A semi carrying cattle on Southbound US 131 flipped inbetween 13 & 14 Mile Rds and cattle are wandering all over the freeway. This is a dangerous situation because of the darkness. Please exercise caution on surface roads near the area as cattle have dispersed in many different directions."
Cows on the freeway. Good Lord - we have a huge problem with deer now we need to look out for cows. I can only imagine if you hit one in a car what sort of damage would occur. Then it struck me funny - if you hit a cow - do you get to keep the meat? I wondered as I drove down 13 Mile if I would encounter a cow but it didn't happen. Then on my way home - the freeway was still closed and I replayed the scenerio of a few years ago in my head when a peacock wandered into our yard. The peacock had my kids all excited - yelling, screaming, jumping up and down. Dan was home and documented the fact. I could only wonder what would happen if I drove up the driveway and saw a cow in the front yard. I'd be yelling and screaming "Can I keep it?"
It is now 6 hours since the accident and no cow has been spotted in our yard. Darn
So. While at the gym we encounter many different people. One man there in particular has earned the nickname "Hulk" by my sister. He is a short squatty man with huge and I mean huge arms, legs and a huge neck. But there are times when he lifts weights in the area my sister and I frequent.
If I can create a picture - or at least equate the weight area into two sections - big kid pool and wading pool - my sister and I always walk by the big kid pool. It is on the first floor and has numerous free weights and weight machines - it is an intimidating area as there is a lot of grunting and strutting that takes place on the first floor. So - we head upstairs to the family area - where there are cute weight machines in bright red paint with signs on them that say "This equipment was designed for use by children." See how we have big kid pool and kiddie pool distinctions.
Well - we are working out on the machines designed for children and the Hulk comes upstairs and starts playing in our pool. Is this man just trying to show off? Not only that - he will lift and then leave the machine with his pin still in place on the equipment. I'm sorry but I don't enjoy taking the pin out from the very bottom plate (which is about 300 lbs and I am exaggerating here but you get the point) and moving it up to the second plate (which is 40 lbs). It is embarassing and I think the Hulk should go back to his pool and stop peeing in ours.
I've enjoyed my morning workouts at the Y - it is my time with my sister and we have fun and I should go home and shower and become productive but I get sidetracked by walking past the bed. I promise myself I'll only lay down for a few minutes and then instead it is hours later. Yet, the redeaming part of this is the fact I am getting up at my normal time BUT I've also got a workout out of the way. I'm just going to have to learn to function and stay awake...baby steps you know - baby steps.
So - from cows to Hulk like men in the kiddie pool I wonder what else will come our way today - maybe a flying pig? I'd bank on a flying pig.
Sunday, July 11, 2010
We just blew by the 4th
Yep. I said it in the previous post - summer is slipping away and goodness it is. We had a fantastic Fourth of July in mid-Michigan with perfect weather. Great food and wonderful family - kids and babies - it was wonderful. So - not wanting to let go of those moments we headed back "north" for a few more days and the kids swam their hearts out.
Back to reality, I checked my email this morning and had a message that brought me to tears. A former co-worker, no a friend, passed away on Tuesday leaving behind a wife and children and some grandkids too. I never knew my mother's parents and it has left a void in my life - a part which I cannot touch or connect with and I wonder how many grandkids in his family will wonder what grandpa was like. It saddens me so. It also makes me thankful I was able to make amends and move beyond the past and look to the future. How important it truly is to be able to forgive. I hope no one wishes otherwise in this case - he was such a good man.
So - from death I look to the promise of life. I follow a blog online of a woman that is journaling her emotional journey toward motherhood. I keep her in my thoughts and prayers each day as I know how much she really, really, really wants to become a mother. I never wanted to be a mom, that was until I met my sister's daughters and I couldn't imagine not having kids of my own.
The kids fill my life - with much joy and frustration - but I would not change it for anything. I love my kids and love their imagination and sense of adventure. I love hearing about my son's first "love" and his passion to do great things and I love to see my daughter jump down the stairs and sing her sassy songs. My chef and artist - both want jobs where they find fulfillment in what they can give to others. I know that feeling and as I embark on my adventure of serving others I only hope I can do my job - beyond well - I want to excel and make a difference. I want to make a change.
On that note - I will close with a thought about the man that passed away. He touched many, many lives and truly made lives change. He made a difference and he made me feel welcome and special. I will miss you my friend, I suppose God needs someone to help him run his show.
Back to reality, I checked my email this morning and had a message that brought me to tears. A former co-worker, no a friend, passed away on Tuesday leaving behind a wife and children and some grandkids too. I never knew my mother's parents and it has left a void in my life - a part which I cannot touch or connect with and I wonder how many grandkids in his family will wonder what grandpa was like. It saddens me so. It also makes me thankful I was able to make amends and move beyond the past and look to the future. How important it truly is to be able to forgive. I hope no one wishes otherwise in this case - he was such a good man.
So - from death I look to the promise of life. I follow a blog online of a woman that is journaling her emotional journey toward motherhood. I keep her in my thoughts and prayers each day as I know how much she really, really, really wants to become a mother. I never wanted to be a mom, that was until I met my sister's daughters and I couldn't imagine not having kids of my own.
The kids fill my life - with much joy and frustration - but I would not change it for anything. I love my kids and love their imagination and sense of adventure. I love hearing about my son's first "love" and his passion to do great things and I love to see my daughter jump down the stairs and sing her sassy songs. My chef and artist - both want jobs where they find fulfillment in what they can give to others. I know that feeling and as I embark on my adventure of serving others I only hope I can do my job - beyond well - I want to excel and make a difference. I want to make a change.
On that note - I will close with a thought about the man that passed away. He touched many, many lives and truly made lives change. He made a difference and he made me feel welcome and special. I will miss you my friend, I suppose God needs someone to help him run his show.
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
It is June
June has arrived and it arrived in splendor - sunny and warm - perfect start to the summer.
With the arrival of June comes many events, the last day of school for my kids. This day happens every year and yet, it is this one that is hitting me deep in the heart. My son will move to middle school and my daughter second grade. Where did the year go? I could tell you - I was buried beneath the ruble of an MBA. I remember back to the fall when I wished the year would be over and thought "I cannot wish the year away because I would be wishing another year away with my children." Tough, but it is what it is. Another year down and the summer awaits.
I love summer. I love it because there is opportunity. Opportunity to go about your day with no restrictions or plans - the ability to get up and do what you please, when you please. Yet, this is also dangerous because inevitably, without having a plan - we tend to let summer slip by without maximizing opportunity. So, needless to say, wanting to stay away from a schedule leads to wanting to set one. All so I make sure we don't look back and wonder why we wasted summer.
I want to spend time on the dunes, explore a bit of Michigan before we end up moving. I want to feel connected to this place before I venture into the unknown. I don't know who sings the country song - about wanting to touch home - a woman knocks on the door of her childhood home wanting to touch the past to heal and find herself. I want to make sure I imprint upon my mind, this place - to have good positive memories before I get to make more in a new environment.
I also consider this is the month we lose Filippo our exchange student. I have had a grand time getting to know him and it will be sad to see him go. Yet, I think he too will come back for a visit - but it won't be to this house - to the area he spent his year. I've often thought about visiting my host family and how odd it would be to visit them - in a place I have no connection. Yet, we move on - establish new homes and environments and we build our lives around those instances. We are better because we are all influenced by all these cool factors. Even knowing Fil - we are influenced by him and there are memories we build upon because of him. He will be missed for sure.
I consider the 17th - the day I swear in and take my place as member of the United States Navy. I've thought of the Navy for years and now - it is here - and while I am so excited I am nervous too. I often wonder if it is the right path but everything fell into place and any hurdles before me, I was able to leap without faltering. I look at the way it has come together and feel in my heart and soul - this is where I was meant to belong. I was meant to give back to the same institution that gave me life. I fear, of letting down my family and those around me - I fear my kids may resent the path - I fear - of lots of things but know it is so important to rely on my faith for strength and courage and I hope my family will do the same.
I mention faith often - not because I am a particularly religious person - but because I have been "healed" by faith. I know it sounds wacky -but it is true. I felt I was missing something and it wasn't until I really just let myself go - to experience faith in action and listen to the Word - it hit me. It is not just some abstractness - but more of a tool. Use faith as a tool and it will get you where you need to be. I feel as if I should be Forrest Gump "That's all I got to say 'bout that."
We have scout camp and vacation bible school, potlucks and picnics and then June will be over. I can already feel summer slipping away....
With the arrival of June comes many events, the last day of school for my kids. This day happens every year and yet, it is this one that is hitting me deep in the heart. My son will move to middle school and my daughter second grade. Where did the year go? I could tell you - I was buried beneath the ruble of an MBA. I remember back to the fall when I wished the year would be over and thought "I cannot wish the year away because I would be wishing another year away with my children." Tough, but it is what it is. Another year down and the summer awaits.
I love summer. I love it because there is opportunity. Opportunity to go about your day with no restrictions or plans - the ability to get up and do what you please, when you please. Yet, this is also dangerous because inevitably, without having a plan - we tend to let summer slip by without maximizing opportunity. So, needless to say, wanting to stay away from a schedule leads to wanting to set one. All so I make sure we don't look back and wonder why we wasted summer.
I want to spend time on the dunes, explore a bit of Michigan before we end up moving. I want to feel connected to this place before I venture into the unknown. I don't know who sings the country song - about wanting to touch home - a woman knocks on the door of her childhood home wanting to touch the past to heal and find herself. I want to make sure I imprint upon my mind, this place - to have good positive memories before I get to make more in a new environment.
I also consider this is the month we lose Filippo our exchange student. I have had a grand time getting to know him and it will be sad to see him go. Yet, I think he too will come back for a visit - but it won't be to this house - to the area he spent his year. I've often thought about visiting my host family and how odd it would be to visit them - in a place I have no connection. Yet, we move on - establish new homes and environments and we build our lives around those instances. We are better because we are all influenced by all these cool factors. Even knowing Fil - we are influenced by him and there are memories we build upon because of him. He will be missed for sure.
I consider the 17th - the day I swear in and take my place as member of the United States Navy. I've thought of the Navy for years and now - it is here - and while I am so excited I am nervous too. I often wonder if it is the right path but everything fell into place and any hurdles before me, I was able to leap without faltering. I look at the way it has come together and feel in my heart and soul - this is where I was meant to belong. I was meant to give back to the same institution that gave me life. I fear, of letting down my family and those around me - I fear my kids may resent the path - I fear - of lots of things but know it is so important to rely on my faith for strength and courage and I hope my family will do the same.
I mention faith often - not because I am a particularly religious person - but because I have been "healed" by faith. I know it sounds wacky -but it is true. I felt I was missing something and it wasn't until I really just let myself go - to experience faith in action and listen to the Word - it hit me. It is not just some abstractness - but more of a tool. Use faith as a tool and it will get you where you need to be. I feel as if I should be Forrest Gump "That's all I got to say 'bout that."
We have scout camp and vacation bible school, potlucks and picnics and then June will be over. I can already feel summer slipping away....
Saturday, May 22, 2010
It is almost over
Well, the road to my MBA is winding down. I am less than 3 hours away from taking my final exam. Fifty questions in an hour and fifteen - yes the road is winding down and I am once again conflicted.
I am thrilled I will be done and I will have the degree under my belt - but all the time and energy I have put into the process will come to a halt and I will need to re-focus my energies. While I've looked forward to not being saddled - it was also a great escape. I could hole myself up and ask for quiet. I could stay up late, get inside my head and work. All the things I hated while at the same time - I enjoyed.
So - it comes down to this final - and I'm not wanting to push the sprint - only want to pause and relish the finish line - if I drag it out long enough I can avoid my responsiblities of the day and when I wake up tomorrow - I will be done. I will be in church thanking God for everything He has granted and I will be able to sit back and breathe a sigh of relief.
What I am blessed with is the fact we will have company on Monday so I will be able to re-focus energies toward cleaning the house - trouble is - I won't have the excuse of having to study to use to step away from the chores.
See how emotional this is?
So - I have decided my study time will now become physical fitness time - I will spend more time and energy on running, walking, biking and swimming. I will become focused upon my task of becoming more physically fit for my new job. I will become focused upon my task of learning a the Sailors Creed and the General Orders. I will focus upon becoming a mom and doing all the things I've missed out because of school. I will focus upon being a better friend and keeping the dates and promises I make.
I cannot believe this is the end. I cannot believe I have two Masters degrees. Yeah. I cannot beleive it is almost over.
I am thrilled I will be done and I will have the degree under my belt - but all the time and energy I have put into the process will come to a halt and I will need to re-focus my energies. While I've looked forward to not being saddled - it was also a great escape. I could hole myself up and ask for quiet. I could stay up late, get inside my head and work. All the things I hated while at the same time - I enjoyed.
So - it comes down to this final - and I'm not wanting to push the sprint - only want to pause and relish the finish line - if I drag it out long enough I can avoid my responsiblities of the day and when I wake up tomorrow - I will be done. I will be in church thanking God for everything He has granted and I will be able to sit back and breathe a sigh of relief.
What I am blessed with is the fact we will have company on Monday so I will be able to re-focus energies toward cleaning the house - trouble is - I won't have the excuse of having to study to use to step away from the chores.
See how emotional this is?
So - I have decided my study time will now become physical fitness time - I will spend more time and energy on running, walking, biking and swimming. I will become focused upon my task of becoming more physically fit for my new job. I will become focused upon my task of learning a the Sailors Creed and the General Orders. I will focus upon becoming a mom and doing all the things I've missed out because of school. I will focus upon being a better friend and keeping the dates and promises I make.
I cannot believe this is the end. I cannot believe I have two Masters degrees. Yeah. I cannot beleive it is almost over.
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
The world of online dating
Wow. Someone just left here after showing me the world of online dating and I gotta say - I'm a bit jealous and creeped out at the same time. I know that sounds terrible about being jealous as I am happily married - but I can say I didn't date a whole lot for various reasons. I pretty much was told at one point that I "scare men." Which is something that a single gal never really wanted to hear - but it was good enough for me. So - I scared men. But obviously I didn't scare the one I've been married to for the past 13 years.
Regardless - let me get to the point - I thought it was cool this gal could go online and see how many "winks" and profile looks she got - that would be a total ego boost I'd think and it made me wonder if I would get any winks or looks and if I would be "matched" with Dan via the online match finder. Then I began developing different things aside from winks - like can you butt grab or have em talk to the hand....seems a wink is just too boring!
So - we are sitting at the dining room table looking at this website and wow - are these guys dumb or what?!
One guy - his profile picture had a woman cut out of the shot - but her hands were still draped around his neck. Hello?? Anyone home? That is the only picture you had to put online - a picture of your face with another woman's arms around you? Either you have a ton of gal pals, you are hating the gal you just broke up with OR you are just stupid. Then the other dude taking his own picture. I said "red flag" right there - the guy didn't have any friends to take a nice picture of him? He has to take the picture of himself? I know it was a personal portrait because it has his arm extended out and that funny angle you get when you shoot your own mug. It would seem if her were a catch he'd have his friends covering his back - getting cool pics now and again.
Then the spelling - is spell check unavailable? Goodness - if you are trying to show someone how brilliant you are - why in the hell can't you spell? It wasn't just one word - it was a handful of words. Lazy I'd say - that would be a clear strike.
So we are scrolling through and I say " Oh hey - let's take a look at him - he's cute" But we can't because if you click on a profile they can see who looked at them - and then they can stalk you back. Good lord - what fun is that?
Then I also got to thinking about the number of people out there in this world just waiting to meet their special someone and are still waiting for someone to click on their profile. I see it like fishing - drop in the line and see who bites - but then those guys that are a bit shy or not so confident or those who cannot hide behind a wall of humor - may continue to miss out because they just don't stand out. It seemed a bit like high school - picking guys out based upon their look. Then a bit like college when you try to determine the amount of substance and maturity and then like old, hardened souls - knowing a guy that has to put "faithful" in his post is just trying to convince himself.
We talk about innovation a lot in business school - if I were innovative - I would write online profiles for a living because some of these guys profiles just suck.
So - this is where the relief sets in - I have a stable, happy marriage with a man I adore and I don't have to put myself out there - I know I am loved with all my flaws - with the fact I schlep around the house in sweats, that I snore at times, I sleep talk and laugh, I make cereal for dinner and keep house like my paternal grandmother. I don't have to log into a computer every night and wade through the bullshit to get to the meat. I am relieved I am grounded but still a bit curious...what kind of online profile would I have?
Just a thought you know....just a thought.
Regardless - let me get to the point - I thought it was cool this gal could go online and see how many "winks" and profile looks she got - that would be a total ego boost I'd think and it made me wonder if I would get any winks or looks and if I would be "matched" with Dan via the online match finder. Then I began developing different things aside from winks - like can you butt grab or have em talk to the hand....seems a wink is just too boring!
So - we are sitting at the dining room table looking at this website and wow - are these guys dumb or what?!
One guy - his profile picture had a woman cut out of the shot - but her hands were still draped around his neck. Hello?? Anyone home? That is the only picture you had to put online - a picture of your face with another woman's arms around you? Either you have a ton of gal pals, you are hating the gal you just broke up with OR you are just stupid. Then the other dude taking his own picture. I said "red flag" right there - the guy didn't have any friends to take a nice picture of him? He has to take the picture of himself? I know it was a personal portrait because it has his arm extended out and that funny angle you get when you shoot your own mug. It would seem if her were a catch he'd have his friends covering his back - getting cool pics now and again.
Then the spelling - is spell check unavailable? Goodness - if you are trying to show someone how brilliant you are - why in the hell can't you spell? It wasn't just one word - it was a handful of words. Lazy I'd say - that would be a clear strike.
So we are scrolling through and I say " Oh hey - let's take a look at him - he's cute" But we can't because if you click on a profile they can see who looked at them - and then they can stalk you back. Good lord - what fun is that?
Then I also got to thinking about the number of people out there in this world just waiting to meet their special someone and are still waiting for someone to click on their profile. I see it like fishing - drop in the line and see who bites - but then those guys that are a bit shy or not so confident or those who cannot hide behind a wall of humor - may continue to miss out because they just don't stand out. It seemed a bit like high school - picking guys out based upon their look. Then a bit like college when you try to determine the amount of substance and maturity and then like old, hardened souls - knowing a guy that has to put "faithful" in his post is just trying to convince himself.
We talk about innovation a lot in business school - if I were innovative - I would write online profiles for a living because some of these guys profiles just suck.
So - this is where the relief sets in - I have a stable, happy marriage with a man I adore and I don't have to put myself out there - I know I am loved with all my flaws - with the fact I schlep around the house in sweats, that I snore at times, I sleep talk and laugh, I make cereal for dinner and keep house like my paternal grandmother. I don't have to log into a computer every night and wade through the bullshit to get to the meat. I am relieved I am grounded but still a bit curious...what kind of online profile would I have?
Just a thought you know....just a thought.
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Patriotic Table and Prentzels and other Randomness
Ok. I feel as if I have to preface this post with the fact I truly love my family. I love that we can laugh at each other. What makes it different is we are the targets of our own humor - our jokes do not seem to come at the expense of others - only ourselves and I think I appreciate it. It is easy to laugh at others and poke fun at someone that is not present to defend oneself but this is not funny - it is hurtful.
So - instead of poking fun at others - we focus within and I think it bonds us together like an inside joke that I will now exploit to the world.
We are riding in the car and Ben is wanting to know about the Patriotic Table of Elements and I thought I heard "Patriotic" but knew my son would not confuse "Periodic" with "Patriotic" - yet I can see how the table could be Patriotic - with Gold and Silver - equate this with Olympic Medals and yeah....I see the connection. So - I let it slide. A few days later, Ben brings up the Patriotic table again. Did I hear him right? Did he say Patriotic?
So, my husband sets out to correct the error. This coming from a man that cannot for the life of him say "Pretzel" - he throws a random "N" in for fun - and it drives me nuts - "I'm packing some prentzels in my carry on." "Who ate all the prentzels?" WHAT on earth is a prentzel?
Now - I know I've made mistakes too - like the time on the White Pine trail when I saw a pheasant and exlaimed "Look a peasant!" - Oh - minus the "H" and when Dan exclaimed "WHERE?" We both exploded with laughter.
We've had other words like "breakfrast" (breakfast) and "gazzurt" (dessert) come into our vocab and we laugh. It is delightful to laugh at ourselves.
We are not perfect and we do not pretend we are. We live honestly and celebrate our moments together and it truly is a blessing - even when we pick up extra letters and patriots.
As for other randomness - Janis and I saved a raccoon today. We were at the track and I headed over to spit my gum out in the garbage bin and saw this big ball of fur. My brain doesn't process situations that are out of the ordinary very fast and the first thing that popped into my head was "Who would throw a dead raccoon into a garbage bin?" Then I had an immediate thought that it wasn't a raccoon because I could not see its tail or head - then dog came into my brain unitl I thought I heard it hiss. No dog. Cat? Then it hissed again and I knew it was a raccoon. The darn thing was trapped in the bin - plastic sides and nothing to climb on to get out I only wondered how long it was stuck in there.
Janis and I thought to drag the barrel closer to the grassy hill but we were afraid of being wrong - that the raccoon only wanted a safe place to sleep and that it would actually jump out and attack. So- ever so carefully and slowly we slid the barrel to the grass - all the while this raccoon picked up its head and continued to hiss.
We got the bin to the gate and slowly tipped it over and that raccoon did not waste a moment getting out of the trash. He even left food behind. I felt so bad for it - all curled up into a ball as if it had given up hope - and then when he had the chance - he fled - got to the top of the hill and looked back before he crawled under the fence to make his great escape.
Watching him run and looking back- made us both feel good - as if he need us and we needed the affirmation we did something right.
So - I think about my family and the blessings we have - the kindness and openness of our hearts and the understanding we are not perfect - but we strive to live our best and with that I can ask of nothing more.
So - instead of poking fun at others - we focus within and I think it bonds us together like an inside joke that I will now exploit to the world.
We are riding in the car and Ben is wanting to know about the Patriotic Table of Elements and I thought I heard "Patriotic" but knew my son would not confuse "Periodic" with "Patriotic" - yet I can see how the table could be Patriotic - with Gold and Silver - equate this with Olympic Medals and yeah....I see the connection. So - I let it slide. A few days later, Ben brings up the Patriotic table again. Did I hear him right? Did he say Patriotic?
So, my husband sets out to correct the error. This coming from a man that cannot for the life of him say "Pretzel" - he throws a random "N" in for fun - and it drives me nuts - "I'm packing some prentzels in my carry on." "Who ate all the prentzels?" WHAT on earth is a prentzel?
Now - I know I've made mistakes too - like the time on the White Pine trail when I saw a pheasant and exlaimed "Look a peasant!" - Oh - minus the "H" and when Dan exclaimed "WHERE?" We both exploded with laughter.
We've had other words like "breakfrast" (breakfast) and "gazzurt" (dessert) come into our vocab and we laugh. It is delightful to laugh at ourselves.
We are not perfect and we do not pretend we are. We live honestly and celebrate our moments together and it truly is a blessing - even when we pick up extra letters and patriots.
As for other randomness - Janis and I saved a raccoon today. We were at the track and I headed over to spit my gum out in the garbage bin and saw this big ball of fur. My brain doesn't process situations that are out of the ordinary very fast and the first thing that popped into my head was "Who would throw a dead raccoon into a garbage bin?" Then I had an immediate thought that it wasn't a raccoon because I could not see its tail or head - then dog came into my brain unitl I thought I heard it hiss. No dog. Cat? Then it hissed again and I knew it was a raccoon. The darn thing was trapped in the bin - plastic sides and nothing to climb on to get out I only wondered how long it was stuck in there.
Janis and I thought to drag the barrel closer to the grassy hill but we were afraid of being wrong - that the raccoon only wanted a safe place to sleep and that it would actually jump out and attack. So- ever so carefully and slowly we slid the barrel to the grass - all the while this raccoon picked up its head and continued to hiss.
We got the bin to the gate and slowly tipped it over and that raccoon did not waste a moment getting out of the trash. He even left food behind. I felt so bad for it - all curled up into a ball as if it had given up hope - and then when he had the chance - he fled - got to the top of the hill and looked back before he crawled under the fence to make his great escape.
Watching him run and looking back- made us both feel good - as if he need us and we needed the affirmation we did something right.
So - I think about my family and the blessings we have - the kindness and openness of our hearts and the understanding we are not perfect - but we strive to live our best and with that I can ask of nothing more.
Friday, April 9, 2010
Aqua Log
It is the final weekday of spring break and I wanted to do something different and fun with the kids so I decided to take a drive to Holland to visit the aquatic center. The place was pretty cool - diving boards, zip line, splash zone for kids, water cannons, vortex, floating obstacle course, floats, basketball and of course an aqua log.
First off - I didn't really want to go swimming but I figure I better get used to parading around in a swimming suit and jumping in cold water. So, I joined Janis on her adventures. First we saw the inner tubes and Janis immediately wanted to float in one so we jumped in the water and she floated a bit before she decided we could check out the splash zone.
Splash zone had much warmer water and it was geared toward the smaller kids - really shallow water, lots of water spurting out from everywhere, a tire swing - it was pretty cool but not really adventurous for Janis. Yet all the really "cool" stuff as Janis would say, was considered deep water and if you wanted to swim deep water, you had to swim 25 yds. A big challenge for a 7 yr. old - but not that tough - she managed to swim the entire way without stopping and as soon as she got the thumbs up from the life guard we were off to the diving boards.
Yet, I don't think Janis ever got on the diving board until we were about to leave - we got sidetracked by THE AQUA LOG.
The aqua log is a huge floating noodle - like what you see on those stinkin Japanese game shows and the idea is to run across as fast as you can without falling off. Yeah. Right. Ben showed me how it was done - with speed and grace he made it from one end of the log to the other before jumping in - he did great. Then Filippo. He managed to do it as well - but not as quick or as graceful. Then Janis - she stood on the starting block jumped on the log and got about three strides before she bounced off and into the water. Then it was my turn.
I only wish we had video because even the lifeguards were laughing and you know - I think it takes a lot to get them to crack a smile after a week of special hours during spring break. So I stood on the block and Ben is giving me advice "Just run, don't think about it - just go." So I went. The first step I took I paused and took one more and I don't even know what happened next. I think I fell on my front, bounced back and flipped somehow because I inhaled a ton of water. I came up laughing and I could only imagine what I looked like - and then I tried it again.
This time when I fell it was a bit more graceful but I still couldn't get passed pausing after the first step. Ben is adamant about saying you can just run like you are on a track and he doesn't think about the log -he just runs and that is probably the truth but I think that log and I are going to have a tougher time.
It is a mental block I have to get passed. How do I make my body go when my brain wants it to stop? I figure I'm going to have to learn to work on auto pilot at some point in my military career - that I will have to do something my brain tells me I shouldn't be doing but my body must. So I think the aqua log is just the tool I need to get my mind right.
As for parading around in my swim suit - it was ok - I look forward to the day when I'm more confident than ever - I think the Navy is gonna take care of that part for me.
First off - I didn't really want to go swimming but I figure I better get used to parading around in a swimming suit and jumping in cold water. So, I joined Janis on her adventures. First we saw the inner tubes and Janis immediately wanted to float in one so we jumped in the water and she floated a bit before she decided we could check out the splash zone.
Splash zone had much warmer water and it was geared toward the smaller kids - really shallow water, lots of water spurting out from everywhere, a tire swing - it was pretty cool but not really adventurous for Janis. Yet all the really "cool" stuff as Janis would say, was considered deep water and if you wanted to swim deep water, you had to swim 25 yds. A big challenge for a 7 yr. old - but not that tough - she managed to swim the entire way without stopping and as soon as she got the thumbs up from the life guard we were off to the diving boards.
Yet, I don't think Janis ever got on the diving board until we were about to leave - we got sidetracked by THE AQUA LOG.
The aqua log is a huge floating noodle - like what you see on those stinkin Japanese game shows and the idea is to run across as fast as you can without falling off. Yeah. Right. Ben showed me how it was done - with speed and grace he made it from one end of the log to the other before jumping in - he did great. Then Filippo. He managed to do it as well - but not as quick or as graceful. Then Janis - she stood on the starting block jumped on the log and got about three strides before she bounced off and into the water. Then it was my turn.
I only wish we had video because even the lifeguards were laughing and you know - I think it takes a lot to get them to crack a smile after a week of special hours during spring break. So I stood on the block and Ben is giving me advice "Just run, don't think about it - just go." So I went. The first step I took I paused and took one more and I don't even know what happened next. I think I fell on my front, bounced back and flipped somehow because I inhaled a ton of water. I came up laughing and I could only imagine what I looked like - and then I tried it again.
This time when I fell it was a bit more graceful but I still couldn't get passed pausing after the first step. Ben is adamant about saying you can just run like you are on a track and he doesn't think about the log -he just runs and that is probably the truth but I think that log and I are going to have a tougher time.
It is a mental block I have to get passed. How do I make my body go when my brain wants it to stop? I figure I'm going to have to learn to work on auto pilot at some point in my military career - that I will have to do something my brain tells me I shouldn't be doing but my body must. So I think the aqua log is just the tool I need to get my mind right.
As for parading around in my swim suit - it was ok - I look forward to the day when I'm more confident than ever - I think the Navy is gonna take care of that part for me.
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
All this at no charge to you!
Today I answered the phone. Not that answering the phone is a big deal, but I knew as soon as I had to repeat "hello" twice it was a sales call. This particular call was from DTE Energy and the guy on the other end of the line was trying to sell me a protection plan for my furnace and hot water heater.
He did a great job telling me if I purchased the plan protection for 13.99 a month if anything were to ever go wrong I could have someone from DTE come out and fix it all at no cost to me.
Hum. At no cost to me.
Funny thing is, the guy mentioned this several times and I wanted to laugh. If all this was going to be done at no cost to me, why on earth would I want to spend over $167.00 a year to "protect" my furnace and hot water heater. I told him I was not interested and really had to bite my tongue when he asked "Why?" I only said "I'm simply not interested."
Here is my thought - do people sign up for stuff this quick? Now, I'm not going to tell you I've never fallen for a great sales job - my husband would say I'm first to jump on a bandwagon when it deals with weight loss stuff - but when it comes to appliance protection plans - isn't it cheaper to buy a brand new appliance?
Curious, I Googled the price for new hot water heaters and they can range in price from 150-thousands of dollars. If I saved my 13.99 a month in the bank, I could replace my hot water heater at no cost to me!
So - I've decided I probably need a car protection plan, dog protect plan, shoe protection plan and possibly a computer protection plan - all so if something goes wrong I can call the right people and they will take care of replacement at no cost to me. Yeah.
He did a great job telling me if I purchased the plan protection for 13.99 a month if anything were to ever go wrong I could have someone from DTE come out and fix it all at no cost to me.
Hum. At no cost to me.
Funny thing is, the guy mentioned this several times and I wanted to laugh. If all this was going to be done at no cost to me, why on earth would I want to spend over $167.00 a year to "protect" my furnace and hot water heater. I told him I was not interested and really had to bite my tongue when he asked "Why?" I only said "I'm simply not interested."
Here is my thought - do people sign up for stuff this quick? Now, I'm not going to tell you I've never fallen for a great sales job - my husband would say I'm first to jump on a bandwagon when it deals with weight loss stuff - but when it comes to appliance protection plans - isn't it cheaper to buy a brand new appliance?
Curious, I Googled the price for new hot water heaters and they can range in price from 150-thousands of dollars. If I saved my 13.99 a month in the bank, I could replace my hot water heater at no cost to me!
So - I've decided I probably need a car protection plan, dog protect plan, shoe protection plan and possibly a computer protection plan - all so if something goes wrong I can call the right people and they will take care of replacement at no cost to me. Yeah.
Sunday, March 14, 2010
Observations
Last night I had the opportunity to celebrate a "Oops I missed my 40th birthday party" with my sister and her friends at the Polish Falcons Hall on the west side. I hadn't been in that building for years and I truly had a great time. I made some observations last night, which I though would be great to discuss.
First, the hall was full of people celebrating St. Patrick's day - I found it amusing since the hall was full of those with Polish heritage - polka music and songs in Polish - yeah - I'm seeing the Irish connection. But that was the true beauty of the night - a bunch of people having a great time. Young people, old people and those in between. Talking - socializing-dancing. Second, women were dressed comfortably and the men too - as if they were completely able to be true to themselves. Full figured women dancing with young men, teenage women dancing with older stout men. Partners would change and the dancing would continue. It was an environment of friendship only one goal - to have fun. It was surreal - a man in the corner playing spoons - pounding out the beat. He was there for him, his enjoyment and ours. While it was fun to watch I really felt like going out on the town and I wasn't the only one so we headed out to watch the Mega 80s.
Luck was on our side with a curb side parking spot across from the entrance to the club. Once inside - the atmosphere was electric but it was no Polish Falcon. Women were dressed a bit more seductively -men eyeing the women and the music was in English. We made our way to the front of the stage and began to dance - enjoying the show and the company of those around us. Yet, I could look left and right and women were smashed up against men - bodies moving as one and hands groping. I had left one place where the night was all about fun and comfort to a place that was all about people using one another. Kind of made me sick.
During my observations an attractive man can up and hugged a gal in our group - she knew him from high school so an immediate connection was made. We were all graduates from the same high school. Knowing the name I asked him what class he graduated with he answered me with "Does it matter?" While my immediate thought was "no" - it was a question none the less and warranted an answer because I was had asked and it wasn't an invasive question. He finally answered - a few years ahead of me. So - he settles in next to us being friendly and dancing. Similar to the Polish Falcons he seemed comfortable with himself and with his ability to dance. I gave him credit for being on the floor even after he apologized for his ability to dance. Banter and banter some more with everyone in our group. It was fun.
As the night wore on - this guy would venture away and always come back but then it got a bit weird when he pulled me in front of him, putting his hands on my waist and yelling into my ear "This song is so emotional for me, so if you don't mind..." at which I turned. Maybe it was the look I must've had upon my face - that probably said "Is this guy hitting on me?" Then he asked "Is there a husband?" To which I replied "Yes. I have one of those." I kindly moved his hands from my waist and stepped to the side. Yet I didn't want him to think I was mad -because I wasn't. It was the nature of the place - the environment - I was there for fun - he was there for something a bit different. I only wonder if I need a bigger ring.
After the "mis-understanding" - he politely excused himself and danced off. I thought he'd be gone in search of a single gal but he ended up coming back. He kept chatting but I didn't have to remove his hands again but the whole situation was a bit odd. I'm convinced I saved him from making a terrible mistake. I believe he is a married man. I believe he had a bit too much to drink and got caught up in the moment - but what if he had grabbed another woman to the right or left and she allowed him to touch her and not remove his hands...
We all make choices. Some good - some bad. I was flattered this guy took an interest - he made me feel desirable but he also made me feel grateful for what I have. A loving and dedicated husband and father of my two children. I was able to enjoy my evening, even with this guy next to me because I knew without hesitation I was solid in my own relationship and that in and of itself was a fantastic self observation. I have a solid relationship and while I've known it all along in the face of temptation I was able to smile and say "I have a husband" and that makes me feel great.
First, the hall was full of people celebrating St. Patrick's day - I found it amusing since the hall was full of those with Polish heritage - polka music and songs in Polish - yeah - I'm seeing the Irish connection. But that was the true beauty of the night - a bunch of people having a great time. Young people, old people and those in between. Talking - socializing-dancing. Second, women were dressed comfortably and the men too - as if they were completely able to be true to themselves. Full figured women dancing with young men, teenage women dancing with older stout men. Partners would change and the dancing would continue. It was an environment of friendship only one goal - to have fun. It was surreal - a man in the corner playing spoons - pounding out the beat. He was there for him, his enjoyment and ours. While it was fun to watch I really felt like going out on the town and I wasn't the only one so we headed out to watch the Mega 80s.
Luck was on our side with a curb side parking spot across from the entrance to the club. Once inside - the atmosphere was electric but it was no Polish Falcon. Women were dressed a bit more seductively -men eyeing the women and the music was in English. We made our way to the front of the stage and began to dance - enjoying the show and the company of those around us. Yet, I could look left and right and women were smashed up against men - bodies moving as one and hands groping. I had left one place where the night was all about fun and comfort to a place that was all about people using one another. Kind of made me sick.
During my observations an attractive man can up and hugged a gal in our group - she knew him from high school so an immediate connection was made. We were all graduates from the same high school. Knowing the name I asked him what class he graduated with he answered me with "Does it matter?" While my immediate thought was "no" - it was a question none the less and warranted an answer because I was had asked and it wasn't an invasive question. He finally answered - a few years ahead of me. So - he settles in next to us being friendly and dancing. Similar to the Polish Falcons he seemed comfortable with himself and with his ability to dance. I gave him credit for being on the floor even after he apologized for his ability to dance. Banter and banter some more with everyone in our group. It was fun.
As the night wore on - this guy would venture away and always come back but then it got a bit weird when he pulled me in front of him, putting his hands on my waist and yelling into my ear "This song is so emotional for me, so if you don't mind..." at which I turned. Maybe it was the look I must've had upon my face - that probably said "Is this guy hitting on me?" Then he asked "Is there a husband?" To which I replied "Yes. I have one of those." I kindly moved his hands from my waist and stepped to the side. Yet I didn't want him to think I was mad -because I wasn't. It was the nature of the place - the environment - I was there for fun - he was there for something a bit different. I only wonder if I need a bigger ring.
After the "mis-understanding" - he politely excused himself and danced off. I thought he'd be gone in search of a single gal but he ended up coming back. He kept chatting but I didn't have to remove his hands again but the whole situation was a bit odd. I'm convinced I saved him from making a terrible mistake. I believe he is a married man. I believe he had a bit too much to drink and got caught up in the moment - but what if he had grabbed another woman to the right or left and she allowed him to touch her and not remove his hands...
We all make choices. Some good - some bad. I was flattered this guy took an interest - he made me feel desirable but he also made me feel grateful for what I have. A loving and dedicated husband and father of my two children. I was able to enjoy my evening, even with this guy next to me because I knew without hesitation I was solid in my own relationship and that in and of itself was a fantastic self observation. I have a solid relationship and while I've known it all along in the face of temptation I was able to smile and say "I have a husband" and that makes me feel great.
Thursday, March 4, 2010
Goal!
I watched the movie "Goal" the other night. It is an amazing story of courage, sacrifice and staying the course and doing what you believe you were meant to do. I can relate. Not in the "I wanna be a professional soccer player" way - but in the way of finding the original path I truly believe I was supposed to follow many years ago.
Yet - had I followed that path many years ago, I would not be where I am today - so I believe the path diverted as it was supposed to. Here is my story.
When I was 18 I was less than kind to my parents. I was hard headed and desired my independence and my parents knew I wasn't really ready to be a grown up. I had a fantasy of living in an apartment, going to college away from home and being my own boss. I had the idea but no financial independence to do so. Therefore, I did not move out and I was pretty undecided about what I wanted to do for the rest of my life so I wanted to escape. I called a Navy recruiter and inquired about joining the Navy as I wanted to pursue a career in Physical Therapy. On the phone the man was all "Oh yeah - we have a great program. I'd love to come out and talk through the details." So I invited the man to our home.
The day he was to arrive I was nervous - unsure if I should join but I knew I was not really ready for college - I just wanted to go somewhere - anywhere and thought the Navy would lead me there. The recruiter arrived at our home about the time we were eating dinner. I showed him in and gestured to the couch and explained we would be finished eating in a few moments but he didn't take a seat on the couch he sat down at our table. I didn't care for that and thought it completely rude. Strike One.
I had an eye opening experience that night as I found out there wasn't a Physical Therapy program but a great Rad tech opportunity. I didn't want that - I specifically asked about PT. Strike Two. He wasn't making me trust him at all and I was really uneasy about the offers he presented because quite frankly he hadn't been truthful from the beginning - he only wanted his foot in the door to sell me on the opportunities he did have. I listened and when he was finished I told him I was going to consider his offer but as he stood up to leave he told me I would only have three days to make a decision and then the "offer" would expire. Strike Three.
I didn't follow the path because I didn't feel right. I deviated and put my career and school on hold to become an exchange student to Sweden. After a year of growing up I knew I only had the choice of going to school - depleted of my funds I could only afford the community college and so my life and its path set in motion.
Flash forward a few years (a few a few times)I again entertained thoughts of the Navy and even spoke to a Navy recruiter in 2003 about options but nothing seemed to fit my life so once again I abandoned the idea. Yet, by the time I was finishing up my MPA from Grand Valley I started to wonder what I was going to do with my life. Don't get me wrong - I love being a stay at home mom as it is the most rewarding job in the world - but there would come a day I would have to work and I needed to have a plan. My panic caused me to search Monster.com for ideas.
Navy appeared once again. This time for those with a Master degree. Hold on! I have one of those! The job posting was for a health care administrator - something I was interested in - this would be it. I called and talked with a great gal named Cheryl. While I had a Masters degree I had the wrong one. I needed an MHA or MBA. Nuts. I could've walked away but this time - this time was different. It was as if, this was the opportunity to serve - to fulfill the path I attempted when I was 18. If it would be meant to be everything would fall into place.
Well. I started my MBA program with an emphasis in healthcare in August of 2008. I will finish my MBA on May 28, 2010. Two weeks ago I received my final select letter welcoming me as a LTJG in the United States Medical Service Corps as a healthcare administrator. I am finally going to be a part of the Navy family - finally having the opportunity to serve. I am thankful I am married to a loving and supportive husband that allowed me to dream, set a goal and work to see it through. I am thankful for loving and supporting friends and family. I am thankful for the professionals that assisted along the way. I am thankful to God - for defining the path and while I took a really long winding road to get to this point - the side journey has been well worth it.
So. I won't tell you how the movie ends - but it is a wonderful film and embraces the spirit of drive and desire. Rent it, you won't be disappointed.
This was the goal. Now it is time to set another one.
Yet - had I followed that path many years ago, I would not be where I am today - so I believe the path diverted as it was supposed to. Here is my story.
When I was 18 I was less than kind to my parents. I was hard headed and desired my independence and my parents knew I wasn't really ready to be a grown up. I had a fantasy of living in an apartment, going to college away from home and being my own boss. I had the idea but no financial independence to do so. Therefore, I did not move out and I was pretty undecided about what I wanted to do for the rest of my life so I wanted to escape. I called a Navy recruiter and inquired about joining the Navy as I wanted to pursue a career in Physical Therapy. On the phone the man was all "Oh yeah - we have a great program. I'd love to come out and talk through the details." So I invited the man to our home.
The day he was to arrive I was nervous - unsure if I should join but I knew I was not really ready for college - I just wanted to go somewhere - anywhere and thought the Navy would lead me there. The recruiter arrived at our home about the time we were eating dinner. I showed him in and gestured to the couch and explained we would be finished eating in a few moments but he didn't take a seat on the couch he sat down at our table. I didn't care for that and thought it completely rude. Strike One.
I had an eye opening experience that night as I found out there wasn't a Physical Therapy program but a great Rad tech opportunity. I didn't want that - I specifically asked about PT. Strike Two. He wasn't making me trust him at all and I was really uneasy about the offers he presented because quite frankly he hadn't been truthful from the beginning - he only wanted his foot in the door to sell me on the opportunities he did have. I listened and when he was finished I told him I was going to consider his offer but as he stood up to leave he told me I would only have three days to make a decision and then the "offer" would expire. Strike Three.
I didn't follow the path because I didn't feel right. I deviated and put my career and school on hold to become an exchange student to Sweden. After a year of growing up I knew I only had the choice of going to school - depleted of my funds I could only afford the community college and so my life and its path set in motion.
Flash forward a few years (a few a few times)I again entertained thoughts of the Navy and even spoke to a Navy recruiter in 2003 about options but nothing seemed to fit my life so once again I abandoned the idea. Yet, by the time I was finishing up my MPA from Grand Valley I started to wonder what I was going to do with my life. Don't get me wrong - I love being a stay at home mom as it is the most rewarding job in the world - but there would come a day I would have to work and I needed to have a plan. My panic caused me to search Monster.com for ideas.
Navy appeared once again. This time for those with a Master degree. Hold on! I have one of those! The job posting was for a health care administrator - something I was interested in - this would be it. I called and talked with a great gal named Cheryl. While I had a Masters degree I had the wrong one. I needed an MHA or MBA. Nuts. I could've walked away but this time - this time was different. It was as if, this was the opportunity to serve - to fulfill the path I attempted when I was 18. If it would be meant to be everything would fall into place.
Well. I started my MBA program with an emphasis in healthcare in August of 2008. I will finish my MBA on May 28, 2010. Two weeks ago I received my final select letter welcoming me as a LTJG in the United States Medical Service Corps as a healthcare administrator. I am finally going to be a part of the Navy family - finally having the opportunity to serve. I am thankful I am married to a loving and supportive husband that allowed me to dream, set a goal and work to see it through. I am thankful for loving and supporting friends and family. I am thankful for the professionals that assisted along the way. I am thankful to God - for defining the path and while I took a really long winding road to get to this point - the side journey has been well worth it.
So. I won't tell you how the movie ends - but it is a wonderful film and embraces the spirit of drive and desire. Rent it, you won't be disappointed.
This was the goal. Now it is time to set another one.
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Holy Cow
Holy Cow. It has been since MAY 2009 that I've not written. I could ask where the time went but my kids would tell you I've been buried under an emerging MBA. Has it been since May that I've taken the time to write my thoughts?
I can tell you it hasn't been because I've lacked thoughts. Just time and that is not a good thing.
Time. How precious it is. Country songs have been written about the passage of time - all seem to pass on the idea of a bit of regret for not taking advantage of the here and now which puts my brain in motion. I have chosen to take on the MBA. I accepted at the time the amount of time and energy it would require to obtain the distinction. However - would I regret NOT taking on the program had I known about the time I would lose?
I find myself saying "My house will be a whole lot cleaner when I'm done." "My family will have better meals when I'm done." "I'll have more time to focus on working out when I'm done." When I'm done. Done with what? I say school now - but come summer it will be something else! Is it just my personality then - to become consumed as a way to escape the grid of normal living? What does this say about me? I shudder a bit. Then I think about what I've asked of my family - the sacrifice of time.
So - does the sacrifice I've asked of my husband and kids - the personal and financial sacrifice for a piece of paper make up for the time I've dedicated toward earning the degree? I don't like the look I get from my son when I have to tell him "no" I won't work out with him because "I have homework." - I hate that the kids will lie in bed and call my name and I'll say "Just a minute" and it turns out to be more like an hour and I've missed kissing them while they were awake and saying "I love you." so they can hear me. I hate it and at the same time I allow it to happen.
What is more important? What is the criteria I use to judge? Do I demonstrate my dedication toward my education and demonstrate how I feel education is important by making my children resent the fact I am earning another degree? Maybe they don't resent it - I think they are often proud - but then again would they tell the truth for fear I may become upset?
I'm almost done and I am counting down the days - not because I don't enjoy the program - but simply because I feel as if life has been passing me by and I haven't enjoyed it. Life is passing - this blog is proof. May 2009. Wow. I only hope this degree leads me where I'm supposed to be - I've tried to do what is necessary - to go the route I've felt has been placed before me - but then again, road maps can be misread. I wonder what my road map will read in a few months.
I can tell you it hasn't been because I've lacked thoughts. Just time and that is not a good thing.
Time. How precious it is. Country songs have been written about the passage of time - all seem to pass on the idea of a bit of regret for not taking advantage of the here and now which puts my brain in motion. I have chosen to take on the MBA. I accepted at the time the amount of time and energy it would require to obtain the distinction. However - would I regret NOT taking on the program had I known about the time I would lose?
I find myself saying "My house will be a whole lot cleaner when I'm done." "My family will have better meals when I'm done." "I'll have more time to focus on working out when I'm done." When I'm done. Done with what? I say school now - but come summer it will be something else! Is it just my personality then - to become consumed as a way to escape the grid of normal living? What does this say about me? I shudder a bit. Then I think about what I've asked of my family - the sacrifice of time.
So - does the sacrifice I've asked of my husband and kids - the personal and financial sacrifice for a piece of paper make up for the time I've dedicated toward earning the degree? I don't like the look I get from my son when I have to tell him "no" I won't work out with him because "I have homework." - I hate that the kids will lie in bed and call my name and I'll say "Just a minute" and it turns out to be more like an hour and I've missed kissing them while they were awake and saying "I love you." so they can hear me. I hate it and at the same time I allow it to happen.
What is more important? What is the criteria I use to judge? Do I demonstrate my dedication toward my education and demonstrate how I feel education is important by making my children resent the fact I am earning another degree? Maybe they don't resent it - I think they are often proud - but then again would they tell the truth for fear I may become upset?
I'm almost done and I am counting down the days - not because I don't enjoy the program - but simply because I feel as if life has been passing me by and I haven't enjoyed it. Life is passing - this blog is proof. May 2009. Wow. I only hope this degree leads me where I'm supposed to be - I've tried to do what is necessary - to go the route I've felt has been placed before me - but then again, road maps can be misread. I wonder what my road map will read in a few months.
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