Observations

Last night I had the opportunity to celebrate a "Oops I missed my 40th birthday party" with my sister and her friends at the Polish Falcons Hall on the west side. I hadn't been in that building for years and I truly had a great time. I made some observations last night, which I though would be great to discuss.

First, the hall was full of people celebrating St. Patrick's day - I found it amusing since the hall was full of those with Polish heritage - polka music and songs in Polish - yeah - I'm seeing the Irish connection. But that was the true beauty of the night - a bunch of people having a great time. Young people, old people and those in between. Talking - socializing-dancing. Second, women were dressed comfortably and the men too - as if they were completely able to be true to themselves. Full figured women dancing with young men, teenage women dancing with older stout men. Partners would change and the dancing would continue. It was an environment of friendship only one goal - to have fun. It was surreal - a man in the corner playing spoons - pounding out the beat. He was there for him, his enjoyment and ours. While it was fun to watch I really felt like going out on the town and I wasn't the only one so we headed out to watch the Mega 80s.

Luck was on our side with a curb side parking spot across from the entrance to the club. Once inside - the atmosphere was electric but it was no Polish Falcon. Women were dressed a bit more seductively -men eyeing the women and the music was in English. We made our way to the front of the stage and began to dance - enjoying the show and the company of those around us. Yet, I could look left and right and women were smashed up against men - bodies moving as one and hands groping. I had left one place where the night was all about fun and comfort to a place that was all about people using one another. Kind of made me sick.

During my observations an attractive man can up and hugged a gal in our group - she knew him from high school so an immediate connection was made. We were all graduates from the same high school. Knowing the name I asked him what class he graduated with he answered me with "Does it matter?" While my immediate thought was "no" - it was a question none the less and warranted an answer because I was had asked and it wasn't an invasive question. He finally answered - a few years ahead of me. So - he settles in next to us being friendly and dancing. Similar to the Polish Falcons he seemed comfortable with himself and with his ability to dance. I gave him credit for being on the floor even after he apologized for his ability to dance. Banter and banter some more with everyone in our group. It was fun.

As the night wore on - this guy would venture away and always come back but then it got a bit weird when he pulled me in front of him, putting his hands on my waist and yelling into my ear "This song is so emotional for me, so if you don't mind..." at which I turned. Maybe it was the look I must've had upon my face - that probably said "Is this guy hitting on me?" Then he asked "Is there a husband?" To which I replied "Yes. I have one of those." I kindly moved his hands from my waist and stepped to the side. Yet I didn't want him to think I was mad -because I wasn't. It was the nature of the place - the environment - I was there for fun - he was there for something a bit different. I only wonder if I need a bigger ring.

After the "mis-understanding" - he politely excused himself and danced off. I thought he'd be gone in search of a single gal but he ended up coming back. He kept chatting but I didn't have to remove his hands again but the whole situation was a bit odd. I'm convinced I saved him from making a terrible mistake. I believe he is a married man. I believe he had a bit too much to drink and got caught up in the moment - but what if he had grabbed another woman to the right or left and she allowed him to touch her and not remove his hands...

We all make choices. Some good - some bad. I was flattered this guy took an interest - he made me feel desirable but he also made me feel grateful for what I have. A loving and dedicated husband and father of my two children. I was able to enjoy my evening, even with this guy next to me because I knew without hesitation I was solid in my own relationship and that in and of itself was a fantastic self observation. I have a solid relationship and while I've known it all along in the face of temptation I was able to smile and say "I have a husband" and that makes me feel great.

Goal!

I watched the movie "Goal" the other night. It is an amazing story of courage, sacrifice and staying the course and doing what you believe you were meant to do. I can relate. Not in the "I wanna be a professional soccer player" way - but in the way of finding the original path I truly believe I was supposed to follow many years ago.

Yet - had I followed that path many years ago, I would not be where I am today - so I believe the path diverted as it was supposed to. Here is my story.

When I was 18 I was less than kind to my parents. I was hard headed and desired my independence and my parents knew I wasn't really ready to be a grown up. I had a fantasy of living in an apartment, going to college away from home and being my own boss. I had the idea but no financial independence to do so. Therefore, I did not move out and I was pretty undecided about what I wanted to do for the rest of my life so I wanted to escape. I called a Navy recruiter and inquired about joining the Navy as I wanted to pursue a career in Physical Therapy. On the phone the man was all "Oh yeah - we have a great program. I'd love to come out and talk through the details." So I invited the man to our home.

The day he was to arrive I was nervous - unsure if I should join but I knew I was not really ready for college - I just wanted to go somewhere - anywhere and thought the Navy would lead me there. The recruiter arrived at our home about the time we were eating dinner. I showed him in and gestured to the couch and explained we would be finished eating in a few moments but he didn't take a seat on the couch he sat down at our table. I didn't care for that and thought it completely rude. Strike One.

I had an eye opening experience that night as I found out there wasn't a Physical Therapy program but a great Rad tech opportunity. I didn't want that - I specifically asked about PT. Strike Two. He wasn't making me trust him at all and I was really uneasy about the offers he presented because quite frankly he hadn't been truthful from the beginning - he only wanted his foot in the door to sell me on the opportunities he did have. I listened and when he was finished I told him I was going to consider his offer but as he stood up to leave he told me I would only have three days to make a decision and then the "offer" would expire. Strike Three.

I didn't follow the path because I didn't feel right. I deviated and put my career and school on hold to become an exchange student to Sweden. After a year of growing up I knew I only had the choice of going to school - depleted of my funds I could only afford the community college and so my life and its path set in motion.

Flash forward a few years (a few a few times)I again entertained thoughts of the Navy and even spoke to a Navy recruiter in 2003 about options but nothing seemed to fit my life so once again I abandoned the idea. Yet, by the time I was finishing up my MPA from Grand Valley I started to wonder what I was going to do with my life. Don't get me wrong - I love being a stay at home mom as it is the most rewarding job in the world - but there would come a day I would have to work and I needed to have a plan. My panic caused me to search Monster.com for ideas.

Navy appeared once again. This time for those with a Master degree. Hold on! I have one of those! The job posting was for a health care administrator - something I was interested in - this would be it. I called and talked with a great gal named Cheryl. While I had a Masters degree I had the wrong one. I needed an MHA or MBA. Nuts. I could've walked away but this time - this time was different. It was as if, this was the opportunity to serve - to fulfill the path I attempted when I was 18. If it would be meant to be everything would fall into place.

Well. I started my MBA program with an emphasis in healthcare in August of 2008. I will finish my MBA on May 28, 2010. Two weeks ago I received my final select letter welcoming me as a LTJG in the United States Medical Service Corps as a healthcare administrator. I am finally going to be a part of the Navy family - finally having the opportunity to serve. I am thankful I am married to a loving and supportive husband that allowed me to dream, set a goal and work to see it through. I am thankful for loving and supporting friends and family. I am thankful for the professionals that assisted along the way. I am thankful to God - for defining the path and while I took a really long winding road to get to this point - the side journey has been well worth it.

So. I won't tell you how the movie ends - but it is a wonderful film and embraces the spirit of drive and desire. Rent it, you won't be disappointed.

This was the goal. Now it is time to set another one.