Skimming

Skimming - it is fun. It is fun to read quickly through something, but it never works for me because then when I'm finished I wonder what I REALLY missed.

For example, a few days ago I was in a waiting room and I picked up a magazine, I think a Newsweek or something because it had a picture of Sarah Palin on the front - headline of something like "Pa lin tology" - she had a hunting rifle over her shoulder with that really flashy smile. So I picked it up - wanted to see what the article was about. (Obviously about Sarah, but I never got that far). So in true Jenny fashion I started from the back of the magazine.

As I was flipping backwards, I ran across an article on Afghanastan and the number of kidnappings in recent months - how the Taliban members are raking in a fortune by kidnapping foreign contractors (as opposed to killing them outright) and asking for ransom. Apparently, they are getting the money so they keep kidnapping. Trouble is - different factions are not reporting thier kidnapping incomes so the No. 2 guy in charge - issued a new handbook.

I find this - while distrubing - extrememly funny at the same time. Has SNL done a skit on this yet? My goodness! The humor comes in the notion that once kidnapping became a source of income for many individuals the leadership takes an interest and wants to make sure they get thier "cut" therefore sending out a new handbook of rules to follow. Wow. I can see it now.

It seems a bit like multi-level marketing doesn't it? The handbook is this really shiny, slick looking piece - has a picture of smiling faces, in front of luxury cars saying "This could be you!"
The idea here is to recruit members - they pay lets say $100.00 for a starter kit (this could be rope, tape, blindfolds) and a territory to cover. For every kidnapping someone pulls of and completes (meaning they get the ransom) they get 30 percent of the total while the upline gets money as well. Don't follow the kidnapping handbook and you lose your ability to do business.

Pretty soon, they could do house parties - showcasing the person they've kidnapped - pretty soon there will be ethical violations, the Taliban will be putting ads on Craigslist, "Want to be a an actor?" "You can be an actor and get paid $50.00 for your role in pretending to be a kidnapping victim. You must have a family or business that would be willing to pay to get you back and based upon your net worth, we may consider paying a bonus. You must be willing to travel alone , must be wiling to work long hours without food or sleep. Please send two photographs and $10.00 in a SASE in order to process an application. Not all applicatants will be accepted. No phone calls."

While this post is so "off" - but so is the kidnapping handbook. Do you think Al Capone had a handbook? I think he was able to exert his influnence without having a manual...

So, back to the aspect of skimming - I missed the Palin article altogether. I only read up to the handbook part of the Taliban article, and saw an artist rendering of a cancer cell before I closed the magazine and put it back on the shelf.