How to argue and win...every time!

I started reading a book last night by Gerry Spense called "How to Argue and Win Every Time." I only started reading it because I was trying to clean up my house a bit - you know the whole clean sweep concept where you take everything, sort through it, decide what to keep, what to donate and what to sell. Well with this stack of books I thought..."maybe I should read them before I give them away."

I chose this particular book because I am a terrible when it comes to arguments. I am like a five year old. I ask permission of my folks and my spouse and when I don't get the desired result I feel as if I've done something wrong by asking. How is it I hand someone else the power? What I am hoping to achieve is to learn the appropriate way to handle certain situations that arise and what I can do to make it so each side is happy with the result.

Case in point. Last week while my children were up with their grandparents and my husband on the road I found myself alone. Alone time is good. Alone time is great. Yet, when I'm alone, I begin to think how I can fill my house with life and love. I began to think about hosting an exchange student. So I found a site online that shares their applicants and immediately found a young man I thought would be a perfect fit for our home. Without consulting the husband, I went ahead and made contact with the local placement person and scheduled a home interview. The woman said "Do you think your husband will go along with this?" I believed he would, especially if we could get the kid into our home school district. So when I hung up the phone I thought to myself "Yeah! We're hosting an exchange student!" Wrong.

Thing is, I approached the phone conversation with my husband the wrong way. I sought his permission. Like a child, I asked to host. Like a parent, he explained all the reasons I shouldn't. I didn't have an argument to win because I didn't approach it correctly.

The book is quite interesting - as it talks about the reasons why people don't win arguments. It mostly has something to do with "Locks." We lock ourselves into situations and we alone hold the keys to that lock. I know and understand I am used to being told what to do. I know and understand I am used to believing others have more authority because I have a hard time admitting I know enough.

Inside there is a very strong person dying to get out. Inside there is a woman that knows she is as special as sliced bread. But with a lifetime of seeking approval - it is difficult to simply break out. I need to find the keys to my own locks. I need to finish this book and I can't do it when I'm blogging!