Wow. Someone just left here after showing me the world of online dating and I gotta say - I'm a bit jealous and creeped out at the same time. I know that sounds terrible about being jealous as I am happily married - but I can say I didn't date a whole lot for various reasons. I pretty much was told at one point that I "scare men." Which is something that a single gal never really wanted to hear - but it was good enough for me. So - I scared men. But obviously I didn't scare the one I've been married to for the past 13 years.
Regardless - let me get to the point - I thought it was cool this gal could go online and see how many "winks" and profile looks she got - that would be a total ego boost I'd think and it made me wonder if I would get any winks or looks and if I would be "matched" with Dan via the online match finder. Then I began developing different things aside from winks - like can you butt grab or have em talk to the hand....seems a wink is just too boring!
So - we are sitting at the dining room table looking at this website and wow - are these guys dumb or what?!
One guy - his profile picture had a woman cut out of the shot - but her hands were still draped around his neck. Hello?? Anyone home? That is the only picture you had to put online - a picture of your face with another woman's arms around you? Either you have a ton of gal pals, you are hating the gal you just broke up with OR you are just stupid. Then the other dude taking his own picture. I said "red flag" right there - the guy didn't have any friends to take a nice picture of him? He has to take the picture of himself? I know it was a personal portrait because it has his arm extended out and that funny angle you get when you shoot your own mug. It would seem if her were a catch he'd have his friends covering his back - getting cool pics now and again.
Then the spelling - is spell check unavailable? Goodness - if you are trying to show someone how brilliant you are - why in the hell can't you spell? It wasn't just one word - it was a handful of words. Lazy I'd say - that would be a clear strike.
So we are scrolling through and I say " Oh hey - let's take a look at him - he's cute" But we can't because if you click on a profile they can see who looked at them - and then they can stalk you back. Good lord - what fun is that?
Then I also got to thinking about the number of people out there in this world just waiting to meet their special someone and are still waiting for someone to click on their profile. I see it like fishing - drop in the line and see who bites - but then those guys that are a bit shy or not so confident or those who cannot hide behind a wall of humor - may continue to miss out because they just don't stand out. It seemed a bit like high school - picking guys out based upon their look. Then a bit like college when you try to determine the amount of substance and maturity and then like old, hardened souls - knowing a guy that has to put "faithful" in his post is just trying to convince himself.
We talk about innovation a lot in business school - if I were innovative - I would write online profiles for a living because some of these guys profiles just suck.
So - this is where the relief sets in - I have a stable, happy marriage with a man I adore and I don't have to put myself out there - I know I am loved with all my flaws - with the fact I schlep around the house in sweats, that I snore at times, I sleep talk and laugh, I make cereal for dinner and keep house like my paternal grandmother. I don't have to log into a computer every night and wade through the bullshit to get to the meat. I am relieved I am grounded but still a bit curious...what kind of online profile would I have?
Just a thought you know....just a thought.
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Patriotic Table and Prentzels and other Randomness
Ok. I feel as if I have to preface this post with the fact I truly love my family. I love that we can laugh at each other. What makes it different is we are the targets of our own humor - our jokes do not seem to come at the expense of others - only ourselves and I think I appreciate it. It is easy to laugh at others and poke fun at someone that is not present to defend oneself but this is not funny - it is hurtful.
So - instead of poking fun at others - we focus within and I think it bonds us together like an inside joke that I will now exploit to the world.
We are riding in the car and Ben is wanting to know about the Patriotic Table of Elements and I thought I heard "Patriotic" but knew my son would not confuse "Periodic" with "Patriotic" - yet I can see how the table could be Patriotic - with Gold and Silver - equate this with Olympic Medals and yeah....I see the connection. So - I let it slide. A few days later, Ben brings up the Patriotic table again. Did I hear him right? Did he say Patriotic?
So, my husband sets out to correct the error. This coming from a man that cannot for the life of him say "Pretzel" - he throws a random "N" in for fun - and it drives me nuts - "I'm packing some prentzels in my carry on." "Who ate all the prentzels?" WHAT on earth is a prentzel?
Now - I know I've made mistakes too - like the time on the White Pine trail when I saw a pheasant and exlaimed "Look a peasant!" - Oh - minus the "H" and when Dan exclaimed "WHERE?" We both exploded with laughter.
We've had other words like "breakfrast" (breakfast) and "gazzurt" (dessert) come into our vocab and we laugh. It is delightful to laugh at ourselves.
We are not perfect and we do not pretend we are. We live honestly and celebrate our moments together and it truly is a blessing - even when we pick up extra letters and patriots.
As for other randomness - Janis and I saved a raccoon today. We were at the track and I headed over to spit my gum out in the garbage bin and saw this big ball of fur. My brain doesn't process situations that are out of the ordinary very fast and the first thing that popped into my head was "Who would throw a dead raccoon into a garbage bin?" Then I had an immediate thought that it wasn't a raccoon because I could not see its tail or head - then dog came into my brain unitl I thought I heard it hiss. No dog. Cat? Then it hissed again and I knew it was a raccoon. The darn thing was trapped in the bin - plastic sides and nothing to climb on to get out I only wondered how long it was stuck in there.
Janis and I thought to drag the barrel closer to the grassy hill but we were afraid of being wrong - that the raccoon only wanted a safe place to sleep and that it would actually jump out and attack. So- ever so carefully and slowly we slid the barrel to the grass - all the while this raccoon picked up its head and continued to hiss.
We got the bin to the gate and slowly tipped it over and that raccoon did not waste a moment getting out of the trash. He even left food behind. I felt so bad for it - all curled up into a ball as if it had given up hope - and then when he had the chance - he fled - got to the top of the hill and looked back before he crawled under the fence to make his great escape.
Watching him run and looking back- made us both feel good - as if he need us and we needed the affirmation we did something right.
So - I think about my family and the blessings we have - the kindness and openness of our hearts and the understanding we are not perfect - but we strive to live our best and with that I can ask of nothing more.
So - instead of poking fun at others - we focus within and I think it bonds us together like an inside joke that I will now exploit to the world.
We are riding in the car and Ben is wanting to know about the Patriotic Table of Elements and I thought I heard "Patriotic" but knew my son would not confuse "Periodic" with "Patriotic" - yet I can see how the table could be Patriotic - with Gold and Silver - equate this with Olympic Medals and yeah....I see the connection. So - I let it slide. A few days later, Ben brings up the Patriotic table again. Did I hear him right? Did he say Patriotic?
So, my husband sets out to correct the error. This coming from a man that cannot for the life of him say "Pretzel" - he throws a random "N" in for fun - and it drives me nuts - "I'm packing some prentzels in my carry on." "Who ate all the prentzels?" WHAT on earth is a prentzel?
Now - I know I've made mistakes too - like the time on the White Pine trail when I saw a pheasant and exlaimed "Look a peasant!" - Oh - minus the "H" and when Dan exclaimed "WHERE?" We both exploded with laughter.
We've had other words like "breakfrast" (breakfast) and "gazzurt" (dessert) come into our vocab and we laugh. It is delightful to laugh at ourselves.
We are not perfect and we do not pretend we are. We live honestly and celebrate our moments together and it truly is a blessing - even when we pick up extra letters and patriots.
As for other randomness - Janis and I saved a raccoon today. We were at the track and I headed over to spit my gum out in the garbage bin and saw this big ball of fur. My brain doesn't process situations that are out of the ordinary very fast and the first thing that popped into my head was "Who would throw a dead raccoon into a garbage bin?" Then I had an immediate thought that it wasn't a raccoon because I could not see its tail or head - then dog came into my brain unitl I thought I heard it hiss. No dog. Cat? Then it hissed again and I knew it was a raccoon. The darn thing was trapped in the bin - plastic sides and nothing to climb on to get out I only wondered how long it was stuck in there.
Janis and I thought to drag the barrel closer to the grassy hill but we were afraid of being wrong - that the raccoon only wanted a safe place to sleep and that it would actually jump out and attack. So- ever so carefully and slowly we slid the barrel to the grass - all the while this raccoon picked up its head and continued to hiss.
We got the bin to the gate and slowly tipped it over and that raccoon did not waste a moment getting out of the trash. He even left food behind. I felt so bad for it - all curled up into a ball as if it had given up hope - and then when he had the chance - he fled - got to the top of the hill and looked back before he crawled under the fence to make his great escape.
Watching him run and looking back- made us both feel good - as if he need us and we needed the affirmation we did something right.
So - I think about my family and the blessings we have - the kindness and openness of our hearts and the understanding we are not perfect - but we strive to live our best and with that I can ask of nothing more.
Friday, April 9, 2010
Aqua Log
It is the final weekday of spring break and I wanted to do something different and fun with the kids so I decided to take a drive to Holland to visit the aquatic center. The place was pretty cool - diving boards, zip line, splash zone for kids, water cannons, vortex, floating obstacle course, floats, basketball and of course an aqua log.
First off - I didn't really want to go swimming but I figure I better get used to parading around in a swimming suit and jumping in cold water. So, I joined Janis on her adventures. First we saw the inner tubes and Janis immediately wanted to float in one so we jumped in the water and she floated a bit before she decided we could check out the splash zone.
Splash zone had much warmer water and it was geared toward the smaller kids - really shallow water, lots of water spurting out from everywhere, a tire swing - it was pretty cool but not really adventurous for Janis. Yet all the really "cool" stuff as Janis would say, was considered deep water and if you wanted to swim deep water, you had to swim 25 yds. A big challenge for a 7 yr. old - but not that tough - she managed to swim the entire way without stopping and as soon as she got the thumbs up from the life guard we were off to the diving boards.
Yet, I don't think Janis ever got on the diving board until we were about to leave - we got sidetracked by THE AQUA LOG.
The aqua log is a huge floating noodle - like what you see on those stinkin Japanese game shows and the idea is to run across as fast as you can without falling off. Yeah. Right. Ben showed me how it was done - with speed and grace he made it from one end of the log to the other before jumping in - he did great. Then Filippo. He managed to do it as well - but not as quick or as graceful. Then Janis - she stood on the starting block jumped on the log and got about three strides before she bounced off and into the water. Then it was my turn.
I only wish we had video because even the lifeguards were laughing and you know - I think it takes a lot to get them to crack a smile after a week of special hours during spring break. So I stood on the block and Ben is giving me advice "Just run, don't think about it - just go." So I went. The first step I took I paused and took one more and I don't even know what happened next. I think I fell on my front, bounced back and flipped somehow because I inhaled a ton of water. I came up laughing and I could only imagine what I looked like - and then I tried it again.
This time when I fell it was a bit more graceful but I still couldn't get passed pausing after the first step. Ben is adamant about saying you can just run like you are on a track and he doesn't think about the log -he just runs and that is probably the truth but I think that log and I are going to have a tougher time.
It is a mental block I have to get passed. How do I make my body go when my brain wants it to stop? I figure I'm going to have to learn to work on auto pilot at some point in my military career - that I will have to do something my brain tells me I shouldn't be doing but my body must. So I think the aqua log is just the tool I need to get my mind right.
As for parading around in my swim suit - it was ok - I look forward to the day when I'm more confident than ever - I think the Navy is gonna take care of that part for me.
First off - I didn't really want to go swimming but I figure I better get used to parading around in a swimming suit and jumping in cold water. So, I joined Janis on her adventures. First we saw the inner tubes and Janis immediately wanted to float in one so we jumped in the water and she floated a bit before she decided we could check out the splash zone.
Splash zone had much warmer water and it was geared toward the smaller kids - really shallow water, lots of water spurting out from everywhere, a tire swing - it was pretty cool but not really adventurous for Janis. Yet all the really "cool" stuff as Janis would say, was considered deep water and if you wanted to swim deep water, you had to swim 25 yds. A big challenge for a 7 yr. old - but not that tough - she managed to swim the entire way without stopping and as soon as she got the thumbs up from the life guard we were off to the diving boards.
Yet, I don't think Janis ever got on the diving board until we were about to leave - we got sidetracked by THE AQUA LOG.
The aqua log is a huge floating noodle - like what you see on those stinkin Japanese game shows and the idea is to run across as fast as you can without falling off. Yeah. Right. Ben showed me how it was done - with speed and grace he made it from one end of the log to the other before jumping in - he did great. Then Filippo. He managed to do it as well - but not as quick or as graceful. Then Janis - she stood on the starting block jumped on the log and got about three strides before she bounced off and into the water. Then it was my turn.
I only wish we had video because even the lifeguards were laughing and you know - I think it takes a lot to get them to crack a smile after a week of special hours during spring break. So I stood on the block and Ben is giving me advice "Just run, don't think about it - just go." So I went. The first step I took I paused and took one more and I don't even know what happened next. I think I fell on my front, bounced back and flipped somehow because I inhaled a ton of water. I came up laughing and I could only imagine what I looked like - and then I tried it again.
This time when I fell it was a bit more graceful but I still couldn't get passed pausing after the first step. Ben is adamant about saying you can just run like you are on a track and he doesn't think about the log -he just runs and that is probably the truth but I think that log and I are going to have a tougher time.
It is a mental block I have to get passed. How do I make my body go when my brain wants it to stop? I figure I'm going to have to learn to work on auto pilot at some point in my military career - that I will have to do something my brain tells me I shouldn't be doing but my body must. So I think the aqua log is just the tool I need to get my mind right.
As for parading around in my swim suit - it was ok - I look forward to the day when I'm more confident than ever - I think the Navy is gonna take care of that part for me.
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
All this at no charge to you!
Today I answered the phone. Not that answering the phone is a big deal, but I knew as soon as I had to repeat "hello" twice it was a sales call. This particular call was from DTE Energy and the guy on the other end of the line was trying to sell me a protection plan for my furnace and hot water heater.
He did a great job telling me if I purchased the plan protection for 13.99 a month if anything were to ever go wrong I could have someone from DTE come out and fix it all at no cost to me.
Hum. At no cost to me.
Funny thing is, the guy mentioned this several times and I wanted to laugh. If all this was going to be done at no cost to me, why on earth would I want to spend over $167.00 a year to "protect" my furnace and hot water heater. I told him I was not interested and really had to bite my tongue when he asked "Why?" I only said "I'm simply not interested."
Here is my thought - do people sign up for stuff this quick? Now, I'm not going to tell you I've never fallen for a great sales job - my husband would say I'm first to jump on a bandwagon when it deals with weight loss stuff - but when it comes to appliance protection plans - isn't it cheaper to buy a brand new appliance?
Curious, I Googled the price for new hot water heaters and they can range in price from 150-thousands of dollars. If I saved my 13.99 a month in the bank, I could replace my hot water heater at no cost to me!
So - I've decided I probably need a car protection plan, dog protect plan, shoe protection plan and possibly a computer protection plan - all so if something goes wrong I can call the right people and they will take care of replacement at no cost to me. Yeah.
He did a great job telling me if I purchased the plan protection for 13.99 a month if anything were to ever go wrong I could have someone from DTE come out and fix it all at no cost to me.
Hum. At no cost to me.
Funny thing is, the guy mentioned this several times and I wanted to laugh. If all this was going to be done at no cost to me, why on earth would I want to spend over $167.00 a year to "protect" my furnace and hot water heater. I told him I was not interested and really had to bite my tongue when he asked "Why?" I only said "I'm simply not interested."
Here is my thought - do people sign up for stuff this quick? Now, I'm not going to tell you I've never fallen for a great sales job - my husband would say I'm first to jump on a bandwagon when it deals with weight loss stuff - but when it comes to appliance protection plans - isn't it cheaper to buy a brand new appliance?
Curious, I Googled the price for new hot water heaters and they can range in price from 150-thousands of dollars. If I saved my 13.99 a month in the bank, I could replace my hot water heater at no cost to me!
So - I've decided I probably need a car protection plan, dog protect plan, shoe protection plan and possibly a computer protection plan - all so if something goes wrong I can call the right people and they will take care of replacement at no cost to me. Yeah.
Sunday, March 14, 2010
Observations
Last night I had the opportunity to celebrate a "Oops I missed my 40th birthday party" with my sister and her friends at the Polish Falcons Hall on the west side. I hadn't been in that building for years and I truly had a great time. I made some observations last night, which I though would be great to discuss.
First, the hall was full of people celebrating St. Patrick's day - I found it amusing since the hall was full of those with Polish heritage - polka music and songs in Polish - yeah - I'm seeing the Irish connection. But that was the true beauty of the night - a bunch of people having a great time. Young people, old people and those in between. Talking - socializing-dancing. Second, women were dressed comfortably and the men too - as if they were completely able to be true to themselves. Full figured women dancing with young men, teenage women dancing with older stout men. Partners would change and the dancing would continue. It was an environment of friendship only one goal - to have fun. It was surreal - a man in the corner playing spoons - pounding out the beat. He was there for him, his enjoyment and ours. While it was fun to watch I really felt like going out on the town and I wasn't the only one so we headed out to watch the Mega 80s.
Luck was on our side with a curb side parking spot across from the entrance to the club. Once inside - the atmosphere was electric but it was no Polish Falcon. Women were dressed a bit more seductively -men eyeing the women and the music was in English. We made our way to the front of the stage and began to dance - enjoying the show and the company of those around us. Yet, I could look left and right and women were smashed up against men - bodies moving as one and hands groping. I had left one place where the night was all about fun and comfort to a place that was all about people using one another. Kind of made me sick.
During my observations an attractive man can up and hugged a gal in our group - she knew him from high school so an immediate connection was made. We were all graduates from the same high school. Knowing the name I asked him what class he graduated with he answered me with "Does it matter?" While my immediate thought was "no" - it was a question none the less and warranted an answer because I was had asked and it wasn't an invasive question. He finally answered - a few years ahead of me. So - he settles in next to us being friendly and dancing. Similar to the Polish Falcons he seemed comfortable with himself and with his ability to dance. I gave him credit for being on the floor even after he apologized for his ability to dance. Banter and banter some more with everyone in our group. It was fun.
As the night wore on - this guy would venture away and always come back but then it got a bit weird when he pulled me in front of him, putting his hands on my waist and yelling into my ear "This song is so emotional for me, so if you don't mind..." at which I turned. Maybe it was the look I must've had upon my face - that probably said "Is this guy hitting on me?" Then he asked "Is there a husband?" To which I replied "Yes. I have one of those." I kindly moved his hands from my waist and stepped to the side. Yet I didn't want him to think I was mad -because I wasn't. It was the nature of the place - the environment - I was there for fun - he was there for something a bit different. I only wonder if I need a bigger ring.
After the "mis-understanding" - he politely excused himself and danced off. I thought he'd be gone in search of a single gal but he ended up coming back. He kept chatting but I didn't have to remove his hands again but the whole situation was a bit odd. I'm convinced I saved him from making a terrible mistake. I believe he is a married man. I believe he had a bit too much to drink and got caught up in the moment - but what if he had grabbed another woman to the right or left and she allowed him to touch her and not remove his hands...
We all make choices. Some good - some bad. I was flattered this guy took an interest - he made me feel desirable but he also made me feel grateful for what I have. A loving and dedicated husband and father of my two children. I was able to enjoy my evening, even with this guy next to me because I knew without hesitation I was solid in my own relationship and that in and of itself was a fantastic self observation. I have a solid relationship and while I've known it all along in the face of temptation I was able to smile and say "I have a husband" and that makes me feel great.
First, the hall was full of people celebrating St. Patrick's day - I found it amusing since the hall was full of those with Polish heritage - polka music and songs in Polish - yeah - I'm seeing the Irish connection. But that was the true beauty of the night - a bunch of people having a great time. Young people, old people and those in between. Talking - socializing-dancing. Second, women were dressed comfortably and the men too - as if they were completely able to be true to themselves. Full figured women dancing with young men, teenage women dancing with older stout men. Partners would change and the dancing would continue. It was an environment of friendship only one goal - to have fun. It was surreal - a man in the corner playing spoons - pounding out the beat. He was there for him, his enjoyment and ours. While it was fun to watch I really felt like going out on the town and I wasn't the only one so we headed out to watch the Mega 80s.
Luck was on our side with a curb side parking spot across from the entrance to the club. Once inside - the atmosphere was electric but it was no Polish Falcon. Women were dressed a bit more seductively -men eyeing the women and the music was in English. We made our way to the front of the stage and began to dance - enjoying the show and the company of those around us. Yet, I could look left and right and women were smashed up against men - bodies moving as one and hands groping. I had left one place where the night was all about fun and comfort to a place that was all about people using one another. Kind of made me sick.
During my observations an attractive man can up and hugged a gal in our group - she knew him from high school so an immediate connection was made. We were all graduates from the same high school. Knowing the name I asked him what class he graduated with he answered me with "Does it matter?" While my immediate thought was "no" - it was a question none the less and warranted an answer because I was had asked and it wasn't an invasive question. He finally answered - a few years ahead of me. So - he settles in next to us being friendly and dancing. Similar to the Polish Falcons he seemed comfortable with himself and with his ability to dance. I gave him credit for being on the floor even after he apologized for his ability to dance. Banter and banter some more with everyone in our group. It was fun.
As the night wore on - this guy would venture away and always come back but then it got a bit weird when he pulled me in front of him, putting his hands on my waist and yelling into my ear "This song is so emotional for me, so if you don't mind..." at which I turned. Maybe it was the look I must've had upon my face - that probably said "Is this guy hitting on me?" Then he asked "Is there a husband?" To which I replied "Yes. I have one of those." I kindly moved his hands from my waist and stepped to the side. Yet I didn't want him to think I was mad -because I wasn't. It was the nature of the place - the environment - I was there for fun - he was there for something a bit different. I only wonder if I need a bigger ring.
After the "mis-understanding" - he politely excused himself and danced off. I thought he'd be gone in search of a single gal but he ended up coming back. He kept chatting but I didn't have to remove his hands again but the whole situation was a bit odd. I'm convinced I saved him from making a terrible mistake. I believe he is a married man. I believe he had a bit too much to drink and got caught up in the moment - but what if he had grabbed another woman to the right or left and she allowed him to touch her and not remove his hands...
We all make choices. Some good - some bad. I was flattered this guy took an interest - he made me feel desirable but he also made me feel grateful for what I have. A loving and dedicated husband and father of my two children. I was able to enjoy my evening, even with this guy next to me because I knew without hesitation I was solid in my own relationship and that in and of itself was a fantastic self observation. I have a solid relationship and while I've known it all along in the face of temptation I was able to smile and say "I have a husband" and that makes me feel great.
Thursday, March 4, 2010
Goal!
I watched the movie "Goal" the other night. It is an amazing story of courage, sacrifice and staying the course and doing what you believe you were meant to do. I can relate. Not in the "I wanna be a professional soccer player" way - but in the way of finding the original path I truly believe I was supposed to follow many years ago.
Yet - had I followed that path many years ago, I would not be where I am today - so I believe the path diverted as it was supposed to. Here is my story.
When I was 18 I was less than kind to my parents. I was hard headed and desired my independence and my parents knew I wasn't really ready to be a grown up. I had a fantasy of living in an apartment, going to college away from home and being my own boss. I had the idea but no financial independence to do so. Therefore, I did not move out and I was pretty undecided about what I wanted to do for the rest of my life so I wanted to escape. I called a Navy recruiter and inquired about joining the Navy as I wanted to pursue a career in Physical Therapy. On the phone the man was all "Oh yeah - we have a great program. I'd love to come out and talk through the details." So I invited the man to our home.
The day he was to arrive I was nervous - unsure if I should join but I knew I was not really ready for college - I just wanted to go somewhere - anywhere and thought the Navy would lead me there. The recruiter arrived at our home about the time we were eating dinner. I showed him in and gestured to the couch and explained we would be finished eating in a few moments but he didn't take a seat on the couch he sat down at our table. I didn't care for that and thought it completely rude. Strike One.
I had an eye opening experience that night as I found out there wasn't a Physical Therapy program but a great Rad tech opportunity. I didn't want that - I specifically asked about PT. Strike Two. He wasn't making me trust him at all and I was really uneasy about the offers he presented because quite frankly he hadn't been truthful from the beginning - he only wanted his foot in the door to sell me on the opportunities he did have. I listened and when he was finished I told him I was going to consider his offer but as he stood up to leave he told me I would only have three days to make a decision and then the "offer" would expire. Strike Three.
I didn't follow the path because I didn't feel right. I deviated and put my career and school on hold to become an exchange student to Sweden. After a year of growing up I knew I only had the choice of going to school - depleted of my funds I could only afford the community college and so my life and its path set in motion.
Flash forward a few years (a few a few times)I again entertained thoughts of the Navy and even spoke to a Navy recruiter in 2003 about options but nothing seemed to fit my life so once again I abandoned the idea. Yet, by the time I was finishing up my MPA from Grand Valley I started to wonder what I was going to do with my life. Don't get me wrong - I love being a stay at home mom as it is the most rewarding job in the world - but there would come a day I would have to work and I needed to have a plan. My panic caused me to search Monster.com for ideas.
Navy appeared once again. This time for those with a Master degree. Hold on! I have one of those! The job posting was for a health care administrator - something I was interested in - this would be it. I called and talked with a great gal named Cheryl. While I had a Masters degree I had the wrong one. I needed an MHA or MBA. Nuts. I could've walked away but this time - this time was different. It was as if, this was the opportunity to serve - to fulfill the path I attempted when I was 18. If it would be meant to be everything would fall into place.
Well. I started my MBA program with an emphasis in healthcare in August of 2008. I will finish my MBA on May 28, 2010. Two weeks ago I received my final select letter welcoming me as a LTJG in the United States Medical Service Corps as a healthcare administrator. I am finally going to be a part of the Navy family - finally having the opportunity to serve. I am thankful I am married to a loving and supportive husband that allowed me to dream, set a goal and work to see it through. I am thankful for loving and supporting friends and family. I am thankful for the professionals that assisted along the way. I am thankful to God - for defining the path and while I took a really long winding road to get to this point - the side journey has been well worth it.
So. I won't tell you how the movie ends - but it is a wonderful film and embraces the spirit of drive and desire. Rent it, you won't be disappointed.
This was the goal. Now it is time to set another one.
Yet - had I followed that path many years ago, I would not be where I am today - so I believe the path diverted as it was supposed to. Here is my story.
When I was 18 I was less than kind to my parents. I was hard headed and desired my independence and my parents knew I wasn't really ready to be a grown up. I had a fantasy of living in an apartment, going to college away from home and being my own boss. I had the idea but no financial independence to do so. Therefore, I did not move out and I was pretty undecided about what I wanted to do for the rest of my life so I wanted to escape. I called a Navy recruiter and inquired about joining the Navy as I wanted to pursue a career in Physical Therapy. On the phone the man was all "Oh yeah - we have a great program. I'd love to come out and talk through the details." So I invited the man to our home.
The day he was to arrive I was nervous - unsure if I should join but I knew I was not really ready for college - I just wanted to go somewhere - anywhere and thought the Navy would lead me there. The recruiter arrived at our home about the time we were eating dinner. I showed him in and gestured to the couch and explained we would be finished eating in a few moments but he didn't take a seat on the couch he sat down at our table. I didn't care for that and thought it completely rude. Strike One.
I had an eye opening experience that night as I found out there wasn't a Physical Therapy program but a great Rad tech opportunity. I didn't want that - I specifically asked about PT. Strike Two. He wasn't making me trust him at all and I was really uneasy about the offers he presented because quite frankly he hadn't been truthful from the beginning - he only wanted his foot in the door to sell me on the opportunities he did have. I listened and when he was finished I told him I was going to consider his offer but as he stood up to leave he told me I would only have three days to make a decision and then the "offer" would expire. Strike Three.
I didn't follow the path because I didn't feel right. I deviated and put my career and school on hold to become an exchange student to Sweden. After a year of growing up I knew I only had the choice of going to school - depleted of my funds I could only afford the community college and so my life and its path set in motion.
Flash forward a few years (a few a few times)I again entertained thoughts of the Navy and even spoke to a Navy recruiter in 2003 about options but nothing seemed to fit my life so once again I abandoned the idea. Yet, by the time I was finishing up my MPA from Grand Valley I started to wonder what I was going to do with my life. Don't get me wrong - I love being a stay at home mom as it is the most rewarding job in the world - but there would come a day I would have to work and I needed to have a plan. My panic caused me to search Monster.com for ideas.
Navy appeared once again. This time for those with a Master degree. Hold on! I have one of those! The job posting was for a health care administrator - something I was interested in - this would be it. I called and talked with a great gal named Cheryl. While I had a Masters degree I had the wrong one. I needed an MHA or MBA. Nuts. I could've walked away but this time - this time was different. It was as if, this was the opportunity to serve - to fulfill the path I attempted when I was 18. If it would be meant to be everything would fall into place.
Well. I started my MBA program with an emphasis in healthcare in August of 2008. I will finish my MBA on May 28, 2010. Two weeks ago I received my final select letter welcoming me as a LTJG in the United States Medical Service Corps as a healthcare administrator. I am finally going to be a part of the Navy family - finally having the opportunity to serve. I am thankful I am married to a loving and supportive husband that allowed me to dream, set a goal and work to see it through. I am thankful for loving and supporting friends and family. I am thankful for the professionals that assisted along the way. I am thankful to God - for defining the path and while I took a really long winding road to get to this point - the side journey has been well worth it.
So. I won't tell you how the movie ends - but it is a wonderful film and embraces the spirit of drive and desire. Rent it, you won't be disappointed.
This was the goal. Now it is time to set another one.
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Holy Cow
Holy Cow. It has been since MAY 2009 that I've not written. I could ask where the time went but my kids would tell you I've been buried under an emerging MBA. Has it been since May that I've taken the time to write my thoughts?
I can tell you it hasn't been because I've lacked thoughts. Just time and that is not a good thing.
Time. How precious it is. Country songs have been written about the passage of time - all seem to pass on the idea of a bit of regret for not taking advantage of the here and now which puts my brain in motion. I have chosen to take on the MBA. I accepted at the time the amount of time and energy it would require to obtain the distinction. However - would I regret NOT taking on the program had I known about the time I would lose?
I find myself saying "My house will be a whole lot cleaner when I'm done." "My family will have better meals when I'm done." "I'll have more time to focus on working out when I'm done." When I'm done. Done with what? I say school now - but come summer it will be something else! Is it just my personality then - to become consumed as a way to escape the grid of normal living? What does this say about me? I shudder a bit. Then I think about what I've asked of my family - the sacrifice of time.
So - does the sacrifice I've asked of my husband and kids - the personal and financial sacrifice for a piece of paper make up for the time I've dedicated toward earning the degree? I don't like the look I get from my son when I have to tell him "no" I won't work out with him because "I have homework." - I hate that the kids will lie in bed and call my name and I'll say "Just a minute" and it turns out to be more like an hour and I've missed kissing them while they were awake and saying "I love you." so they can hear me. I hate it and at the same time I allow it to happen.
What is more important? What is the criteria I use to judge? Do I demonstrate my dedication toward my education and demonstrate how I feel education is important by making my children resent the fact I am earning another degree? Maybe they don't resent it - I think they are often proud - but then again would they tell the truth for fear I may become upset?
I'm almost done and I am counting down the days - not because I don't enjoy the program - but simply because I feel as if life has been passing me by and I haven't enjoyed it. Life is passing - this blog is proof. May 2009. Wow. I only hope this degree leads me where I'm supposed to be - I've tried to do what is necessary - to go the route I've felt has been placed before me - but then again, road maps can be misread. I wonder what my road map will read in a few months.
I can tell you it hasn't been because I've lacked thoughts. Just time and that is not a good thing.
Time. How precious it is. Country songs have been written about the passage of time - all seem to pass on the idea of a bit of regret for not taking advantage of the here and now which puts my brain in motion. I have chosen to take on the MBA. I accepted at the time the amount of time and energy it would require to obtain the distinction. However - would I regret NOT taking on the program had I known about the time I would lose?
I find myself saying "My house will be a whole lot cleaner when I'm done." "My family will have better meals when I'm done." "I'll have more time to focus on working out when I'm done." When I'm done. Done with what? I say school now - but come summer it will be something else! Is it just my personality then - to become consumed as a way to escape the grid of normal living? What does this say about me? I shudder a bit. Then I think about what I've asked of my family - the sacrifice of time.
So - does the sacrifice I've asked of my husband and kids - the personal and financial sacrifice for a piece of paper make up for the time I've dedicated toward earning the degree? I don't like the look I get from my son when I have to tell him "no" I won't work out with him because "I have homework." - I hate that the kids will lie in bed and call my name and I'll say "Just a minute" and it turns out to be more like an hour and I've missed kissing them while they were awake and saying "I love you." so they can hear me. I hate it and at the same time I allow it to happen.
What is more important? What is the criteria I use to judge? Do I demonstrate my dedication toward my education and demonstrate how I feel education is important by making my children resent the fact I am earning another degree? Maybe they don't resent it - I think they are often proud - but then again would they tell the truth for fear I may become upset?
I'm almost done and I am counting down the days - not because I don't enjoy the program - but simply because I feel as if life has been passing me by and I haven't enjoyed it. Life is passing - this blog is proof. May 2009. Wow. I only hope this degree leads me where I'm supposed to be - I've tried to do what is necessary - to go the route I've felt has been placed before me - but then again, road maps can be misread. I wonder what my road map will read in a few months.
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