I'm getting settled in my new environment here in Quantico, VA. Most of my free time I'm in the car, driving around so I can find all the "necessities" in life. WalMart, Sam's, Target, Aldi, Bed Bath & Beyond, Goodwill, gas stations, coin laundry and various eateries the clan likes to frequent. While I drive, I channel surf the radio and today I stopped on a station offering the local news.
This station was giving a traffic update and I'm quickly learning traffic updates and road closures are a huge heads up around here. I only know two routes US1 and I95 I need to pay attention to a few of the local runs. I listen for roads I have seen during my travels so I can get a mental image how often they have troubles. I95 is not really an exception but there are enough lanes that if something happens one lane can move.
Anyway -when the traffic report was finished the announcer indicated that an Alexandria High School has done away with F as a letter grade. Instead, the school is going to offer an I for incomplete. Needless to say I am appalled. I didn't get introduced to an Incomplete until college and I think that is where the I needs to stay.
Why is it we have become such a society that rewards bad behavior? Why is it we continue down this road of not facing truth? If a student is a failure we are not doing them a favor of offering them a way to avoid the fact. We instead make it acceptable to not rise up and meet the challenge of being a quality student.
What I cannot understand is we have a "free" system of education. In this country each and every person is given the right to an education. Yet, what I've come to determine is when something is given and not earned the value is diminished. There is no value placed on the "free" education we offer and we have created a system where students do not even care enough to show up to class. We have created a system where students deface and destroy school property simply because they are not held responsible for their actions.
Where there is no pride there is no honor.
I am ashamed a school system finds it easier to offer an incomplete rather than to face the fact students are failing. Why are students failing? What is the root cause? If we take a closer look I can almost bet there is not a parent in the home that is actively involved in the child's education. Parents fail their children because the emphasis is placed elsewhere - sports, fashion are just two - we can also blame our own system for perpetuating bad behavior. Yet, are we doing enough as citizens to change the system?
If I had a child at West Potomac, I'd pull my child out of the system and let another district get the tax dollars. If my child does not perform he should fail. How else will my child learn there are consequences for actions? We have to hold our children responsible for their behavior in and out of the classroom. We are not doing this country any favors - these students - the same ones that are taught failure is ok are the same individuals that will need to run this country. I often consider the fall of Rome - one such argument for its fall was incompetent leadership. Need I say more?
We have a responsibility to our youth, we have a responsibility to teach them about success and failure and how to handle each with dignity.
Sunday, November 14, 2010
Sunday, September 12, 2010
So it begins.
I left our home on Friday, September 10 2010 to begin a new journey and adventure. When I left, I left a supportive and loving husband at home and two fantastic children. The night before I cried wondering if I was doing the right thing. Sometimes the right thing is the hardest thing.
Think about it - everything we do that matters does not come easy. We have our challenges to overcome and we work at things. Just as we work at our relationships and our marriages or raising our kids to the best of our ability - we must work for results and it is not easy. I want to be able to provide for my family as well as satisfy a goal - it is not easy.
The first day of driving ended with me at a Holiday Inn near Syracuse. The parking lot of the place was packed and I could not believe the number of cars in the lot. Turned out there was an MMA fight. Huge following for that I guess. The hotel was really nice and I marveled at the fact I had an entire bed to myself and the remote to the television - but I was quite tired so I didn't really have the chance to enjoy the time. In the morning I wanted to get an early start so I simply got up and hit the road.
I ended up in Newport just after 4 PM and wanted to make sure that I stopped downtown to see the area before I headed to base. I also wanted to make sure I shopped for something for Janis for her birthday, which now that I did I'm really glad because I found out this week they won't let us leave the building and that made me feel a bit bad - knowing I can't run out and drop a nice package in the mail to the kids when I feel it necessary.
Yet - it is what it is and here I am. ODS.
I learned how to make a bed. The linens are flat sheets and the bottom sheet, you need to line up exactly with the foot of the mattress, hold taught while someone else pulls the other end of the sheet to the headboard and tucks it in while swooping arms to the side. Then you have to make a 45 degree angle for the tuck. Repeat for both ends of the bed. Bed cover - has to have the 45s too BUT you have a fold down of 12 in. -split the difference and that is a roll down point. Pillow is tucked and taught and centered on the bed.
We will learn teamwork and uniformity - if one person does it, everyone has too. With EVERYTHING - (well not everything) - but - the windows, if one person wants the windows open, they are all open and they are open to the same height. Crazy.
Walking to the bathroom (head) your bath towel is to be draped over your left arm - you walk on the right side of the hall, close to the wall. I can't even begin to think about everything we will have to do - it is crazy. Yet, here I am.
We have to weight & measure tonight so I'm a bit apprehensive - not sure how it will go, hopefully in will be fine.
I have a great roommate - she is a nurse from Phoenix heading to Portsmouth, VA. I've met a number of people but I cannot recall all the names. Shane, a prior service corpsman has been extremely helpful.
Oh - and for the record - living near the water leaves for a horn to blow it seems every min. or two - I think it will soon be like living near the gun club - after a while you don't hear the noise.
I know we do not have it as bad as the OCS guys - I wish I could walk in with a camera to the mess hall because these guys MUST chew so many times - set their cups in the same place, look straight ahead, and then drop the head. It is almost robotic and droan looking - pretty scary- but amazing all at the same time.
Needless to say - this will be an adventure. I am looking forward to the challenge and making many, many friendships along the way.
I'll write again when I can!
Think about it - everything we do that matters does not come easy. We have our challenges to overcome and we work at things. Just as we work at our relationships and our marriages or raising our kids to the best of our ability - we must work for results and it is not easy. I want to be able to provide for my family as well as satisfy a goal - it is not easy.
The first day of driving ended with me at a Holiday Inn near Syracuse. The parking lot of the place was packed and I could not believe the number of cars in the lot. Turned out there was an MMA fight. Huge following for that I guess. The hotel was really nice and I marveled at the fact I had an entire bed to myself and the remote to the television - but I was quite tired so I didn't really have the chance to enjoy the time. In the morning I wanted to get an early start so I simply got up and hit the road.
I ended up in Newport just after 4 PM and wanted to make sure that I stopped downtown to see the area before I headed to base. I also wanted to make sure I shopped for something for Janis for her birthday, which now that I did I'm really glad because I found out this week they won't let us leave the building and that made me feel a bit bad - knowing I can't run out and drop a nice package in the mail to the kids when I feel it necessary.
Yet - it is what it is and here I am. ODS.
I learned how to make a bed. The linens are flat sheets and the bottom sheet, you need to line up exactly with the foot of the mattress, hold taught while someone else pulls the other end of the sheet to the headboard and tucks it in while swooping arms to the side. Then you have to make a 45 degree angle for the tuck. Repeat for both ends of the bed. Bed cover - has to have the 45s too BUT you have a fold down of 12 in. -split the difference and that is a roll down point. Pillow is tucked and taught and centered on the bed.
We will learn teamwork and uniformity - if one person does it, everyone has too. With EVERYTHING - (well not everything) - but - the windows, if one person wants the windows open, they are all open and they are open to the same height. Crazy.
Walking to the bathroom (head) your bath towel is to be draped over your left arm - you walk on the right side of the hall, close to the wall. I can't even begin to think about everything we will have to do - it is crazy. Yet, here I am.
We have to weight & measure tonight so I'm a bit apprehensive - not sure how it will go, hopefully in will be fine.
I have a great roommate - she is a nurse from Phoenix heading to Portsmouth, VA. I've met a number of people but I cannot recall all the names. Shane, a prior service corpsman has been extremely helpful.
Oh - and for the record - living near the water leaves for a horn to blow it seems every min. or two - I think it will soon be like living near the gun club - after a while you don't hear the noise.
I know we do not have it as bad as the OCS guys - I wish I could walk in with a camera to the mess hall because these guys MUST chew so many times - set their cups in the same place, look straight ahead, and then drop the head. It is almost robotic and droan looking - pretty scary- but amazing all at the same time.
Needless to say - this will be an adventure. I am looking forward to the challenge and making many, many friendships along the way.
I'll write again when I can!
Monday, August 9, 2010
Under Scrutiny
I do not watch much television, nor do I listen to a lot of radio. Perhaps it is me, with my head in the sand but if I listened to the news I would be constantly yelling at reporters. I would have a one way debate in which I would surely win. Yet, just yesterday I was riding in the car with my wonderful husband and I listened to a call in show about the recent vacation the First Lady and her daughter have taken to Europe.
Many people were upset because of the sheer cost of the vacation, and yes, I think it is appropriate to question actions when there may be occasions of wasteful spending when taxpayers are footing the bill - but should we be outraged about a 10 day vacation when we can be outraged about the wasteful spending that occurs on a daily basis in this country?
It is easy to pick on someone in the public eye. It is easy to point fingers and judge. So what if Mrs. Obama is wearing a thousand dollar jean top - more power to her! My sister was talking today about someone commenting on her athletic shoes - she has these toe shoes barefoot athletes wear - and she wore them tubing in a river to protect her feet. Apparently one woman could not believe she was wearing "hundred dollar shoes" - apparently she was pretty vocal about how much of a waste it was to spend that much money on shoes. Well - the woman pointing the finger had a tattoo on the back of her neck - should we point out how much ink costs?
We all have things we spend our money on that would not make any sense to anyone else - but does that mean if someone has a lavish spending habit they are wrong? I would say from an accountability standpoint - if the money is being borrowed (government handout, grant, gift or loan) there should be restrictions. Yet, if the person has worked hard and wants to spend their money on a shirt so be it.
So we move to the fact the vacation was in Europe and not in the US. Ok. I've always told my kids they need to see what is here in this country first - to know and understand all regions are different and to explore in our own backyard. We have amazing beauty here and many, many things to do. When we travel we try to find off the beaten path things - like the whistle factory in Columbus, OH, or the New Year's Sausage Drop in a small town near Toledo or even Gotta Groove records, a vinyl pressing factory that makes records in Cleveland, OH. We could bring up Wall Drug, SD, the Cadillac Ranch on the road through Amarillo, or what about the Blue Bell Ice Cream factory in Broken Arrow, OK. These are just a few gems we have here I bet you won't find in Spain.
We have cobble stone streets, beautiful cathedrals and a rich history. We have battlefields and reservations, harbor towns and railroad towns we have much to see and much to explore. We have the mountains and rivers the canyons and prairies and I bet the Obama children have not explored everything we have. But, what I think is the best way to travel is similar to buying a thousand dollar top. I know if I walk into the Salvation Army I can find something cute and fun and pay a few dollars. I also know by shopping there I help individuals make a better life for themselves. I get my satisfaction that way - it is not the same for everyone.
While we can poke and be critical - let us consider the event for what it is - a mother and a daughter on a vacation - seizing opportunity when it comes.
Many people were upset because of the sheer cost of the vacation, and yes, I think it is appropriate to question actions when there may be occasions of wasteful spending when taxpayers are footing the bill - but should we be outraged about a 10 day vacation when we can be outraged about the wasteful spending that occurs on a daily basis in this country?
It is easy to pick on someone in the public eye. It is easy to point fingers and judge. So what if Mrs. Obama is wearing a thousand dollar jean top - more power to her! My sister was talking today about someone commenting on her athletic shoes - she has these toe shoes barefoot athletes wear - and she wore them tubing in a river to protect her feet. Apparently one woman could not believe she was wearing "hundred dollar shoes" - apparently she was pretty vocal about how much of a waste it was to spend that much money on shoes. Well - the woman pointing the finger had a tattoo on the back of her neck - should we point out how much ink costs?
We all have things we spend our money on that would not make any sense to anyone else - but does that mean if someone has a lavish spending habit they are wrong? I would say from an accountability standpoint - if the money is being borrowed (government handout, grant, gift or loan) there should be restrictions. Yet, if the person has worked hard and wants to spend their money on a shirt so be it.
So we move to the fact the vacation was in Europe and not in the US. Ok. I've always told my kids they need to see what is here in this country first - to know and understand all regions are different and to explore in our own backyard. We have amazing beauty here and many, many things to do. When we travel we try to find off the beaten path things - like the whistle factory in Columbus, OH, or the New Year's Sausage Drop in a small town near Toledo or even Gotta Groove records, a vinyl pressing factory that makes records in Cleveland, OH. We could bring up Wall Drug, SD, the Cadillac Ranch on the road through Amarillo, or what about the Blue Bell Ice Cream factory in Broken Arrow, OK. These are just a few gems we have here I bet you won't find in Spain.
We have cobble stone streets, beautiful cathedrals and a rich history. We have battlefields and reservations, harbor towns and railroad towns we have much to see and much to explore. We have the mountains and rivers the canyons and prairies and I bet the Obama children have not explored everything we have. But, what I think is the best way to travel is similar to buying a thousand dollar top. I know if I walk into the Salvation Army I can find something cute and fun and pay a few dollars. I also know by shopping there I help individuals make a better life for themselves. I get my satisfaction that way - it is not the same for everyone.
While we can poke and be critical - let us consider the event for what it is - a mother and a daughter on a vacation - seizing opportunity when it comes.
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Cows on the Freeway
OK. I'm trying something new - sort of prepping for the future and I'm dragging my rear end out of bed at 4:00 AM to head to the gym. I'm not going alone as I'm dragging my sister along with me. We've been at this for a few weeks now with hiccups along the way but this morning I was glad I was up to hear a breaking news report.
"State Police have closed the Northbound and Southbound lanes of US 131 between 14 Mile Rd and 10 Mile Rd. A semi carrying cattle on Southbound US 131 flipped inbetween 13 & 14 Mile Rds and cattle are wandering all over the freeway. This is a dangerous situation because of the darkness. Please exercise caution on surface roads near the area as cattle have dispersed in many different directions."
Cows on the freeway. Good Lord - we have a huge problem with deer now we need to look out for cows. I can only imagine if you hit one in a car what sort of damage would occur. Then it struck me funny - if you hit a cow - do you get to keep the meat? I wondered as I drove down 13 Mile if I would encounter a cow but it didn't happen. Then on my way home - the freeway was still closed and I replayed the scenerio of a few years ago in my head when a peacock wandered into our yard. The peacock had my kids all excited - yelling, screaming, jumping up and down. Dan was home and documented the fact. I could only wonder what would happen if I drove up the driveway and saw a cow in the front yard. I'd be yelling and screaming "Can I keep it?"
It is now 6 hours since the accident and no cow has been spotted in our yard. Darn
So. While at the gym we encounter many different people. One man there in particular has earned the nickname "Hulk" by my sister. He is a short squatty man with huge and I mean huge arms, legs and a huge neck. But there are times when he lifts weights in the area my sister and I frequent.
If I can create a picture - or at least equate the weight area into two sections - big kid pool and wading pool - my sister and I always walk by the big kid pool. It is on the first floor and has numerous free weights and weight machines - it is an intimidating area as there is a lot of grunting and strutting that takes place on the first floor. So - we head upstairs to the family area - where there are cute weight machines in bright red paint with signs on them that say "This equipment was designed for use by children." See how we have big kid pool and kiddie pool distinctions.
Well - we are working out on the machines designed for children and the Hulk comes upstairs and starts playing in our pool. Is this man just trying to show off? Not only that - he will lift and then leave the machine with his pin still in place on the equipment. I'm sorry but I don't enjoy taking the pin out from the very bottom plate (which is about 300 lbs and I am exaggerating here but you get the point) and moving it up to the second plate (which is 40 lbs). It is embarassing and I think the Hulk should go back to his pool and stop peeing in ours.
I've enjoyed my morning workouts at the Y - it is my time with my sister and we have fun and I should go home and shower and become productive but I get sidetracked by walking past the bed. I promise myself I'll only lay down for a few minutes and then instead it is hours later. Yet, the redeaming part of this is the fact I am getting up at my normal time BUT I've also got a workout out of the way. I'm just going to have to learn to function and stay awake...baby steps you know - baby steps.
So - from cows to Hulk like men in the kiddie pool I wonder what else will come our way today - maybe a flying pig? I'd bank on a flying pig.
"State Police have closed the Northbound and Southbound lanes of US 131 between 14 Mile Rd and 10 Mile Rd. A semi carrying cattle on Southbound US 131 flipped inbetween 13 & 14 Mile Rds and cattle are wandering all over the freeway. This is a dangerous situation because of the darkness. Please exercise caution on surface roads near the area as cattle have dispersed in many different directions."
Cows on the freeway. Good Lord - we have a huge problem with deer now we need to look out for cows. I can only imagine if you hit one in a car what sort of damage would occur. Then it struck me funny - if you hit a cow - do you get to keep the meat? I wondered as I drove down 13 Mile if I would encounter a cow but it didn't happen. Then on my way home - the freeway was still closed and I replayed the scenerio of a few years ago in my head when a peacock wandered into our yard. The peacock had my kids all excited - yelling, screaming, jumping up and down. Dan was home and documented the fact. I could only wonder what would happen if I drove up the driveway and saw a cow in the front yard. I'd be yelling and screaming "Can I keep it?"
It is now 6 hours since the accident and no cow has been spotted in our yard. Darn
So. While at the gym we encounter many different people. One man there in particular has earned the nickname "Hulk" by my sister. He is a short squatty man with huge and I mean huge arms, legs and a huge neck. But there are times when he lifts weights in the area my sister and I frequent.
If I can create a picture - or at least equate the weight area into two sections - big kid pool and wading pool - my sister and I always walk by the big kid pool. It is on the first floor and has numerous free weights and weight machines - it is an intimidating area as there is a lot of grunting and strutting that takes place on the first floor. So - we head upstairs to the family area - where there are cute weight machines in bright red paint with signs on them that say "This equipment was designed for use by children." See how we have big kid pool and kiddie pool distinctions.
Well - we are working out on the machines designed for children and the Hulk comes upstairs and starts playing in our pool. Is this man just trying to show off? Not only that - he will lift and then leave the machine with his pin still in place on the equipment. I'm sorry but I don't enjoy taking the pin out from the very bottom plate (which is about 300 lbs and I am exaggerating here but you get the point) and moving it up to the second plate (which is 40 lbs). It is embarassing and I think the Hulk should go back to his pool and stop peeing in ours.
I've enjoyed my morning workouts at the Y - it is my time with my sister and we have fun and I should go home and shower and become productive but I get sidetracked by walking past the bed. I promise myself I'll only lay down for a few minutes and then instead it is hours later. Yet, the redeaming part of this is the fact I am getting up at my normal time BUT I've also got a workout out of the way. I'm just going to have to learn to function and stay awake...baby steps you know - baby steps.
So - from cows to Hulk like men in the kiddie pool I wonder what else will come our way today - maybe a flying pig? I'd bank on a flying pig.
Sunday, July 11, 2010
We just blew by the 4th
Yep. I said it in the previous post - summer is slipping away and goodness it is. We had a fantastic Fourth of July in mid-Michigan with perfect weather. Great food and wonderful family - kids and babies - it was wonderful. So - not wanting to let go of those moments we headed back "north" for a few more days and the kids swam their hearts out.
Back to reality, I checked my email this morning and had a message that brought me to tears. A former co-worker, no a friend, passed away on Tuesday leaving behind a wife and children and some grandkids too. I never knew my mother's parents and it has left a void in my life - a part which I cannot touch or connect with and I wonder how many grandkids in his family will wonder what grandpa was like. It saddens me so. It also makes me thankful I was able to make amends and move beyond the past and look to the future. How important it truly is to be able to forgive. I hope no one wishes otherwise in this case - he was such a good man.
So - from death I look to the promise of life. I follow a blog online of a woman that is journaling her emotional journey toward motherhood. I keep her in my thoughts and prayers each day as I know how much she really, really, really wants to become a mother. I never wanted to be a mom, that was until I met my sister's daughters and I couldn't imagine not having kids of my own.
The kids fill my life - with much joy and frustration - but I would not change it for anything. I love my kids and love their imagination and sense of adventure. I love hearing about my son's first "love" and his passion to do great things and I love to see my daughter jump down the stairs and sing her sassy songs. My chef and artist - both want jobs where they find fulfillment in what they can give to others. I know that feeling and as I embark on my adventure of serving others I only hope I can do my job - beyond well - I want to excel and make a difference. I want to make a change.
On that note - I will close with a thought about the man that passed away. He touched many, many lives and truly made lives change. He made a difference and he made me feel welcome and special. I will miss you my friend, I suppose God needs someone to help him run his show.
Back to reality, I checked my email this morning and had a message that brought me to tears. A former co-worker, no a friend, passed away on Tuesday leaving behind a wife and children and some grandkids too. I never knew my mother's parents and it has left a void in my life - a part which I cannot touch or connect with and I wonder how many grandkids in his family will wonder what grandpa was like. It saddens me so. It also makes me thankful I was able to make amends and move beyond the past and look to the future. How important it truly is to be able to forgive. I hope no one wishes otherwise in this case - he was such a good man.
So - from death I look to the promise of life. I follow a blog online of a woman that is journaling her emotional journey toward motherhood. I keep her in my thoughts and prayers each day as I know how much she really, really, really wants to become a mother. I never wanted to be a mom, that was until I met my sister's daughters and I couldn't imagine not having kids of my own.
The kids fill my life - with much joy and frustration - but I would not change it for anything. I love my kids and love their imagination and sense of adventure. I love hearing about my son's first "love" and his passion to do great things and I love to see my daughter jump down the stairs and sing her sassy songs. My chef and artist - both want jobs where they find fulfillment in what they can give to others. I know that feeling and as I embark on my adventure of serving others I only hope I can do my job - beyond well - I want to excel and make a difference. I want to make a change.
On that note - I will close with a thought about the man that passed away. He touched many, many lives and truly made lives change. He made a difference and he made me feel welcome and special. I will miss you my friend, I suppose God needs someone to help him run his show.
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
It is June
June has arrived and it arrived in splendor - sunny and warm - perfect start to the summer.
With the arrival of June comes many events, the last day of school for my kids. This day happens every year and yet, it is this one that is hitting me deep in the heart. My son will move to middle school and my daughter second grade. Where did the year go? I could tell you - I was buried beneath the ruble of an MBA. I remember back to the fall when I wished the year would be over and thought "I cannot wish the year away because I would be wishing another year away with my children." Tough, but it is what it is. Another year down and the summer awaits.
I love summer. I love it because there is opportunity. Opportunity to go about your day with no restrictions or plans - the ability to get up and do what you please, when you please. Yet, this is also dangerous because inevitably, without having a plan - we tend to let summer slip by without maximizing opportunity. So, needless to say, wanting to stay away from a schedule leads to wanting to set one. All so I make sure we don't look back and wonder why we wasted summer.
I want to spend time on the dunes, explore a bit of Michigan before we end up moving. I want to feel connected to this place before I venture into the unknown. I don't know who sings the country song - about wanting to touch home - a woman knocks on the door of her childhood home wanting to touch the past to heal and find herself. I want to make sure I imprint upon my mind, this place - to have good positive memories before I get to make more in a new environment.
I also consider this is the month we lose Filippo our exchange student. I have had a grand time getting to know him and it will be sad to see him go. Yet, I think he too will come back for a visit - but it won't be to this house - to the area he spent his year. I've often thought about visiting my host family and how odd it would be to visit them - in a place I have no connection. Yet, we move on - establish new homes and environments and we build our lives around those instances. We are better because we are all influenced by all these cool factors. Even knowing Fil - we are influenced by him and there are memories we build upon because of him. He will be missed for sure.
I consider the 17th - the day I swear in and take my place as member of the United States Navy. I've thought of the Navy for years and now - it is here - and while I am so excited I am nervous too. I often wonder if it is the right path but everything fell into place and any hurdles before me, I was able to leap without faltering. I look at the way it has come together and feel in my heart and soul - this is where I was meant to belong. I was meant to give back to the same institution that gave me life. I fear, of letting down my family and those around me - I fear my kids may resent the path - I fear - of lots of things but know it is so important to rely on my faith for strength and courage and I hope my family will do the same.
I mention faith often - not because I am a particularly religious person - but because I have been "healed" by faith. I know it sounds wacky -but it is true. I felt I was missing something and it wasn't until I really just let myself go - to experience faith in action and listen to the Word - it hit me. It is not just some abstractness - but more of a tool. Use faith as a tool and it will get you where you need to be. I feel as if I should be Forrest Gump "That's all I got to say 'bout that."
We have scout camp and vacation bible school, potlucks and picnics and then June will be over. I can already feel summer slipping away....
With the arrival of June comes many events, the last day of school for my kids. This day happens every year and yet, it is this one that is hitting me deep in the heart. My son will move to middle school and my daughter second grade. Where did the year go? I could tell you - I was buried beneath the ruble of an MBA. I remember back to the fall when I wished the year would be over and thought "I cannot wish the year away because I would be wishing another year away with my children." Tough, but it is what it is. Another year down and the summer awaits.
I love summer. I love it because there is opportunity. Opportunity to go about your day with no restrictions or plans - the ability to get up and do what you please, when you please. Yet, this is also dangerous because inevitably, without having a plan - we tend to let summer slip by without maximizing opportunity. So, needless to say, wanting to stay away from a schedule leads to wanting to set one. All so I make sure we don't look back and wonder why we wasted summer.
I want to spend time on the dunes, explore a bit of Michigan before we end up moving. I want to feel connected to this place before I venture into the unknown. I don't know who sings the country song - about wanting to touch home - a woman knocks on the door of her childhood home wanting to touch the past to heal and find herself. I want to make sure I imprint upon my mind, this place - to have good positive memories before I get to make more in a new environment.
I also consider this is the month we lose Filippo our exchange student. I have had a grand time getting to know him and it will be sad to see him go. Yet, I think he too will come back for a visit - but it won't be to this house - to the area he spent his year. I've often thought about visiting my host family and how odd it would be to visit them - in a place I have no connection. Yet, we move on - establish new homes and environments and we build our lives around those instances. We are better because we are all influenced by all these cool factors. Even knowing Fil - we are influenced by him and there are memories we build upon because of him. He will be missed for sure.
I consider the 17th - the day I swear in and take my place as member of the United States Navy. I've thought of the Navy for years and now - it is here - and while I am so excited I am nervous too. I often wonder if it is the right path but everything fell into place and any hurdles before me, I was able to leap without faltering. I look at the way it has come together and feel in my heart and soul - this is where I was meant to belong. I was meant to give back to the same institution that gave me life. I fear, of letting down my family and those around me - I fear my kids may resent the path - I fear - of lots of things but know it is so important to rely on my faith for strength and courage and I hope my family will do the same.
I mention faith often - not because I am a particularly religious person - but because I have been "healed" by faith. I know it sounds wacky -but it is true. I felt I was missing something and it wasn't until I really just let myself go - to experience faith in action and listen to the Word - it hit me. It is not just some abstractness - but more of a tool. Use faith as a tool and it will get you where you need to be. I feel as if I should be Forrest Gump "That's all I got to say 'bout that."
We have scout camp and vacation bible school, potlucks and picnics and then June will be over. I can already feel summer slipping away....
Saturday, May 22, 2010
It is almost over
Well, the road to my MBA is winding down. I am less than 3 hours away from taking my final exam. Fifty questions in an hour and fifteen - yes the road is winding down and I am once again conflicted.
I am thrilled I will be done and I will have the degree under my belt - but all the time and energy I have put into the process will come to a halt and I will need to re-focus my energies. While I've looked forward to not being saddled - it was also a great escape. I could hole myself up and ask for quiet. I could stay up late, get inside my head and work. All the things I hated while at the same time - I enjoyed.
So - it comes down to this final - and I'm not wanting to push the sprint - only want to pause and relish the finish line - if I drag it out long enough I can avoid my responsiblities of the day and when I wake up tomorrow - I will be done. I will be in church thanking God for everything He has granted and I will be able to sit back and breathe a sigh of relief.
What I am blessed with is the fact we will have company on Monday so I will be able to re-focus energies toward cleaning the house - trouble is - I won't have the excuse of having to study to use to step away from the chores.
See how emotional this is?
So - I have decided my study time will now become physical fitness time - I will spend more time and energy on running, walking, biking and swimming. I will become focused upon my task of becoming more physically fit for my new job. I will become focused upon my task of learning a the Sailors Creed and the General Orders. I will focus upon becoming a mom and doing all the things I've missed out because of school. I will focus upon being a better friend and keeping the dates and promises I make.
I cannot believe this is the end. I cannot believe I have two Masters degrees. Yeah. I cannot beleive it is almost over.
I am thrilled I will be done and I will have the degree under my belt - but all the time and energy I have put into the process will come to a halt and I will need to re-focus my energies. While I've looked forward to not being saddled - it was also a great escape. I could hole myself up and ask for quiet. I could stay up late, get inside my head and work. All the things I hated while at the same time - I enjoyed.
So - it comes down to this final - and I'm not wanting to push the sprint - only want to pause and relish the finish line - if I drag it out long enough I can avoid my responsiblities of the day and when I wake up tomorrow - I will be done. I will be in church thanking God for everything He has granted and I will be able to sit back and breathe a sigh of relief.
What I am blessed with is the fact we will have company on Monday so I will be able to re-focus energies toward cleaning the house - trouble is - I won't have the excuse of having to study to use to step away from the chores.
See how emotional this is?
So - I have decided my study time will now become physical fitness time - I will spend more time and energy on running, walking, biking and swimming. I will become focused upon my task of becoming more physically fit for my new job. I will become focused upon my task of learning a the Sailors Creed and the General Orders. I will focus upon becoming a mom and doing all the things I've missed out because of school. I will focus upon being a better friend and keeping the dates and promises I make.
I cannot believe this is the end. I cannot believe I have two Masters degrees. Yeah. I cannot beleive it is almost over.
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