Last weekend I had the opportunity to finally participate in the Detroit Half Marathon with a friend. Lord knows I've tried to get people to head to the "east side" with me in the past but I've always gone....alone. Not that alone is bad - why it was quite a fun experience - I could run when I wanted, walk when I wanted, chat up a stranger and enjoy the time - alone in my head. But this year was different...and fun!
It was comforting to have a friend walk down a dark sidewalk in the early morning hours. I was comforting to have a friend willing to go the distance, without great hair or make up. I was with my friend and it felt good. When we started the half, we were behind the full marathoners and just in front of the half runners - crazy when we came together and headed to the Ambassador Bridge - like a pack of rats running from a flood - weaving in and out trying to find the idea spot to settle into for the long haul. Then the sun came up. Light pinks and orange graced the sky and even though we were running on the industrial side of the river - it was somehow peaceful and disconcerting at the same time. There were many times I glanced at the Ren Cen with its GM logo and I only could wonder what would become of the American automotive industry. Detroit had a heyday and I only wonder why, with its amazing frontage on the water, why it is less than a desirable place to be. Can the city turn? Can the city overcome its reputation?
Why, at dinner the night before, a young gal was eating with us and explained cars get stolen and broken into all the time where she lives. Another young woman confessed her car got stolen at least once a year. Prostitutes roam the streets looking for action - where there seems to be none. It is terribly sad but inspiring at the same time - because some day...Detroit will be the place to 'Be.' If I had the money, I'd buy a place on Woodward or even in Corktown - I suppose I would, if I didn't have a family. What does having a family have to do with it? Well - I suppose I could say I have a responsibility to offer them the best environment I can to nurture them and well - Detroit just isn't it.
So - I'm on the bridge, trying to get Tammy to stop for pictures and she doesn't want to stop - she is driven to make the goal of making the tunnel and not getting on the bus - but I could also tell - she wasn't having a grand time. Friendship. She kept going because she didn't want to disappoint me and I kept slowing down because I didn't want to disappoint her. We promised each other we would stick together and finish together and while I am so competitive and it was hard to do - I kept with my word. Our friendship is more important - and once I came to terms with it - I was ok. I enjoy Tammy and our friendship. We are so different and yet, so much the same.
If you ever want to know what true friendship is - complete a marathon with a friend.
Now. Raccoons. Are they dumb or slow or are there just too many of them? Really - I don't know what it is but I see raccoon roadkill everywhere. I'm not sure if it was on my way to Indiana two weekends ago or driving to Detroit that it struck me funny. Some were fresh - others looked as if they could explode any moment, some - only recognizable because of their tails - but I couldn't get over how many of them were dead. I don't know why I thought it funny - because it really isn't.
Other stuff. We had a parish mission last week and I didn't really understand how a mission works - so I showed up on the last day. Well , it seems every day before builds on the last and this session was sort of a Q & A. The topic of politics came up and who we should vote for - and the recommendation was made to vote for the candidate that falls in line with the moral teachings of the church. Well I struggle with the recommendation and feel that is sort of calling for a blind following - but that is another issue. What did come up that I find right on is the fact the church has abdicated its responsibility to taking care of the hungry, homeless and outcast. As a church - it has let the government take care of the issues and we all know how that is working out.
We pay a lot in taxes to run inefficient programs. We pay a lot of taxes to take care of people - who quite frankly, if given the right tools - could take care of themselves. What has happened? The church is a nonprofit but why? What is it they do for us and our communities? They take money and pass it out to other non-profits in the area - supporting other programs and services. The church is a middle man. Why? There was also a call to have "family" time be more in the areas of service - which I agree. I believe my children have such an advantaged lifestyle they are unable to see the value of what they have. Should I blame them? We are in a community full of wealth - kids walking around with iPhones, iPods, Lucky Brand jeans, Nintendo DS - you name it - they have it and chances are not just one. But what if, what if, we all took the time to put our gadgets down and actually serve?
I took that suggestion to heart and when notified of an opportuntiy that welcomed children (which is another thing I have issues with the Church - children are not welcome to help at many events) I jumped at the chance. My children will be working in a food kitchen next Tuesday night - four hours - serving those who are hungry and in need of a warm place to come together. I hope they learn from the experience - having a variety of food on the table is a luxury - as many nights I hear the chorus "I don't like this...." - I threaten going back to a week of nothing but rice and it seems to work - but hopefully this will be an eye opening experience.
So - here is to friendship, dead animals and serving the community - while there doesn't seem to be a common theme - I think there is.....hope -love and sacrifice.
Friday, October 24, 2008
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
Skimming
Skimming - it is fun. It is fun to read quickly through something, but it never works for me because then when I'm finished I wonder what I REALLY missed.
For example, a few days ago I was in a waiting room and I picked up a magazine, I think a Newsweek or something because it had a picture of Sarah Palin on the front - headline of something like "Pa lin tology" - she had a hunting rifle over her shoulder with that really flashy smile. So I picked it up - wanted to see what the article was about. (Obviously about Sarah, but I never got that far). So in true Jenny fashion I started from the back of the magazine.
As I was flipping backwards, I ran across an article on Afghanastan and the number of kidnappings in recent months - how the Taliban members are raking in a fortune by kidnapping foreign contractors (as opposed to killing them outright) and asking for ransom. Apparently, they are getting the money so they keep kidnapping. Trouble is - different factions are not reporting thier kidnapping incomes so the No. 2 guy in charge - issued a new handbook.
I find this - while distrubing - extrememly funny at the same time. Has SNL done a skit on this yet? My goodness! The humor comes in the notion that once kidnapping became a source of income for many individuals the leadership takes an interest and wants to make sure they get thier "cut" therefore sending out a new handbook of rules to follow. Wow. I can see it now.
It seems a bit like multi-level marketing doesn't it? The handbook is this really shiny, slick looking piece - has a picture of smiling faces, in front of luxury cars saying "This could be you!"
The idea here is to recruit members - they pay lets say $100.00 for a starter kit (this could be rope, tape, blindfolds) and a territory to cover. For every kidnapping someone pulls of and completes (meaning they get the ransom) they get 30 percent of the total while the upline gets money as well. Don't follow the kidnapping handbook and you lose your ability to do business.
Pretty soon, they could do house parties - showcasing the person they've kidnapped - pretty soon there will be ethical violations, the Taliban will be putting ads on Craigslist, "Want to be a an actor?" "You can be an actor and get paid $50.00 for your role in pretending to be a kidnapping victim. You must have a family or business that would be willing to pay to get you back and based upon your net worth, we may consider paying a bonus. You must be willing to travel alone , must be wiling to work long hours without food or sleep. Please send two photographs and $10.00 in a SASE in order to process an application. Not all applicatants will be accepted. No phone calls."
While this post is so "off" - but so is the kidnapping handbook. Do you think Al Capone had a handbook? I think he was able to exert his influnence without having a manual...
So, back to the aspect of skimming - I missed the Palin article altogether. I only read up to the handbook part of the Taliban article, and saw an artist rendering of a cancer cell before I closed the magazine and put it back on the shelf.
For example, a few days ago I was in a waiting room and I picked up a magazine, I think a Newsweek or something because it had a picture of Sarah Palin on the front - headline of something like "Pa lin tology" - she had a hunting rifle over her shoulder with that really flashy smile. So I picked it up - wanted to see what the article was about. (Obviously about Sarah, but I never got that far). So in true Jenny fashion I started from the back of the magazine.
As I was flipping backwards, I ran across an article on Afghanastan and the number of kidnappings in recent months - how the Taliban members are raking in a fortune by kidnapping foreign contractors (as opposed to killing them outright) and asking for ransom. Apparently, they are getting the money so they keep kidnapping. Trouble is - different factions are not reporting thier kidnapping incomes so the No. 2 guy in charge - issued a new handbook.
I find this - while distrubing - extrememly funny at the same time. Has SNL done a skit on this yet? My goodness! The humor comes in the notion that once kidnapping became a source of income for many individuals the leadership takes an interest and wants to make sure they get thier "cut" therefore sending out a new handbook of rules to follow. Wow. I can see it now.
It seems a bit like multi-level marketing doesn't it? The handbook is this really shiny, slick looking piece - has a picture of smiling faces, in front of luxury cars saying "This could be you!"
The idea here is to recruit members - they pay lets say $100.00 for a starter kit (this could be rope, tape, blindfolds) and a territory to cover. For every kidnapping someone pulls of and completes (meaning they get the ransom) they get 30 percent of the total while the upline gets money as well. Don't follow the kidnapping handbook and you lose your ability to do business.
Pretty soon, they could do house parties - showcasing the person they've kidnapped - pretty soon there will be ethical violations, the Taliban will be putting ads on Craigslist, "Want to be a an actor?" "You can be an actor and get paid $50.00 for your role in pretending to be a kidnapping victim. You must have a family or business that would be willing to pay to get you back and based upon your net worth, we may consider paying a bonus. You must be willing to travel alone , must be wiling to work long hours without food or sleep. Please send two photographs and $10.00 in a SASE in order to process an application. Not all applicatants will be accepted. No phone calls."
While this post is so "off" - but so is the kidnapping handbook. Do you think Al Capone had a handbook? I think he was able to exert his influnence without having a manual...
So, back to the aspect of skimming - I missed the Palin article altogether. I only read up to the handbook part of the Taliban article, and saw an artist rendering of a cancer cell before I closed the magazine and put it back on the shelf.
Sunday, September 14, 2008
Smells
Smells. They are simply amazing and I wonder how different the world would be without them. Such an odd thought don't you think? But I only bring it up because the other day a particular smell brought back a flood of memories.
I used to be a swimmer. I learned to swim when I was about eight or nine. Sort of old for my age but I really hated the water as a small child. Not sure why - but I just didn't like it. I remember my mom throwing me in a swimming pool (I had a life jacket on) at a birthday party - I had to have been five or so and when I was tossed in the jacket pulled above my head and I couldn't see anything around me but orange - my legs kicking - arms flailing and my voice screaming. I don't know if I was screaming because I was angry about being thrown in, or scared of being in the water. Yet, it isn't this part of the story that matters...it is the fact that from the age of nine to seventeen I spent the majority of my free time swimming competitively.
I enjoyed it and for the life of me I'm not sure why. But for those eight years I spent a lot of time and hours in the pool - fall, winter, spring and summer. Chlorine is a smell in and of itself - not a very friendly smell or one that you want to bottle and sell - but it is a smell - a faintness of it on a swim suit or wet towel that makes me remember some of the best times.
I loved my first competitive swim team - it was one for the Rockford Community Ed. I think they are called the Riptide now - but I remember Chris Ingrahm, and Bill Kemp some of my first coaches. I remember my first competitive swim suit - it was red with white strips - I remember my first DQ, the stuffed Ram on the 3m diving board. I remember sharks and minnows and swimming on Valentines Day holding hands for a sweetheart swim with Mike Westgate (he probably would never remember - but it stuck in my head).
I remember dry land and weight lifting - Jenny Moore hitting her chin on the bottom of the pool and being nicknamed "Chin Strap" for the rest of her community ed career. I remember my first relay team Anna, Katrina, Ashley and me. We formed friendships and community and some of my best memories were from the times I swam.
I remember drinking chocolate shakes at the Old Mill in Rockford and getting my best times and thinking I had to have a chocolate shake each and every time....2:16 in the 200 free - it was my personal best as a 10 or 11 year old.
I remember thinking I wanted to be a part of the Monster Squad - and working my rear end off to be a part of Spyke Johnson's crew - never really made the offical "sqad" but put in the work to be a 'thunderbird' - 5:30 swims before school and the 5:00-7:00 swims after. I remember Reggie Thomas and his sign language - Raider swim camps and Dick Koperski. I remember earning my Varisty letter as a freshman and being the only freshman to place in city finals.
So the other day, when I decided to get back in the pool and swim laps (which has been at least 9 years) I swam at the pool I first began my swimming career. The diving boards are gone and the starting blocks are at the deep end now (probably because Jenny Moore wasn't the only one that hit the bottom). I began thinking a ton of thoughts: how boring is this, why did I ever like this, how did I ever make friends, I think I liked this because I never felt sweat drip down my face or back, I wonder how far I can swim, I wonder what happened to Chris and Bill...and then before I knew it - time was up. I had to get out.
Yet, after I was dressed and leaving the locker room, and heading out the door - I had the "smell" the crisp air smell - the smell I remember so many years ago and I knew - I've missed that smell. I felt good. I felt happy and I knew I couldn't wait to get back in the pool.
The smell of crisp air. It was amazing.
I used to be a swimmer. I learned to swim when I was about eight or nine. Sort of old for my age but I really hated the water as a small child. Not sure why - but I just didn't like it. I remember my mom throwing me in a swimming pool (I had a life jacket on) at a birthday party - I had to have been five or so and when I was tossed in the jacket pulled above my head and I couldn't see anything around me but orange - my legs kicking - arms flailing and my voice screaming. I don't know if I was screaming because I was angry about being thrown in, or scared of being in the water. Yet, it isn't this part of the story that matters...it is the fact that from the age of nine to seventeen I spent the majority of my free time swimming competitively.
I enjoyed it and for the life of me I'm not sure why. But for those eight years I spent a lot of time and hours in the pool - fall, winter, spring and summer. Chlorine is a smell in and of itself - not a very friendly smell or one that you want to bottle and sell - but it is a smell - a faintness of it on a swim suit or wet towel that makes me remember some of the best times.
I loved my first competitive swim team - it was one for the Rockford Community Ed. I think they are called the Riptide now - but I remember Chris Ingrahm, and Bill Kemp some of my first coaches. I remember my first competitive swim suit - it was red with white strips - I remember my first DQ, the stuffed Ram on the 3m diving board. I remember sharks and minnows and swimming on Valentines Day holding hands for a sweetheart swim with Mike Westgate (he probably would never remember - but it stuck in my head).
I remember dry land and weight lifting - Jenny Moore hitting her chin on the bottom of the pool and being nicknamed "Chin Strap" for the rest of her community ed career. I remember my first relay team Anna, Katrina, Ashley and me. We formed friendships and community and some of my best memories were from the times I swam.
I remember drinking chocolate shakes at the Old Mill in Rockford and getting my best times and thinking I had to have a chocolate shake each and every time....2:16 in the 200 free - it was my personal best as a 10 or 11 year old.
I remember thinking I wanted to be a part of the Monster Squad - and working my rear end off to be a part of Spyke Johnson's crew - never really made the offical "sqad" but put in the work to be a 'thunderbird' - 5:30 swims before school and the 5:00-7:00 swims after. I remember Reggie Thomas and his sign language - Raider swim camps and Dick Koperski. I remember earning my Varisty letter as a freshman and being the only freshman to place in city finals.
So the other day, when I decided to get back in the pool and swim laps (which has been at least 9 years) I swam at the pool I first began my swimming career. The diving boards are gone and the starting blocks are at the deep end now (probably because Jenny Moore wasn't the only one that hit the bottom). I began thinking a ton of thoughts: how boring is this, why did I ever like this, how did I ever make friends, I think I liked this because I never felt sweat drip down my face or back, I wonder how far I can swim, I wonder what happened to Chris and Bill...and then before I knew it - time was up. I had to get out.
Yet, after I was dressed and leaving the locker room, and heading out the door - I had the "smell" the crisp air smell - the smell I remember so many years ago and I knew - I've missed that smell. I felt good. I felt happy and I knew I couldn't wait to get back in the pool.
The smell of crisp air. It was amazing.
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
Oh those emails!
I received an email from a friend of mine this morning. The email was written as sort of a "heads up" about giving to nonprofit foundations that support other organizations that may not be in line with ones "moral compass." While I appreciate where she was headed with the email - I am looking to the potential damage it can do. Let me explain.
Right now I'm enrolled in an MBA program. I have Business Economics (I could go on and on in another post) and what I've gotten thus far is this....economics is all about trade offs. By choosing one aspect over another there are certain costs and sometimes choices are made withouth thinking about the secondary effects.
The email was sent to raise awareness about the misuse of funds. A particluar foundation gave money in support of a cancer program the grant seeking organization never enacted. Instead, the funds were thought to support another program, specifically abortion. So the idea behind the email was to "inform" me, before I decided to support the unnamed foundation via a walk/run etc. I should be aware what I "think" I'm raising funds for...I'm not.
So I took it upon myself to check out Guidestar and the Form 990. What I discovered is this Foundation spends hundreds and thousands of dollars supporting other organizations that do exactly what they are supposed to do with the monies! Pages upon pages list Universities and University Medical Centers - all of which are the hubs of brilliant minds that may one day develop a cure for cancer.
So, back to the email that was sent - encouraging me "not" to support the Foundation because it supports an organization that supports pro abortion. Yet, the Foundation is impacting and making real strides in supporting education, awareness and research of cancer (pro life? If I try to develop a cure for something that kills people...is that pro-life too?). Consider for a moment I forward this particular email to everyone I know and individuals decide to withhold their donations on the grounds one specific organization misused funds. We must ask ourvselves...what are the potential "side effects?"
There was no mention of the fact the Foundation has not made an recent contributions to this organization as well....as far as I'm concerned it is old news.
What I struggle with is the idea of being short-sighted. Stop giving - without considering the amount of good. I guess it goes back to the other book I started to read (and never finished) called "The Paradox of Choice" - we can ask ten people what they think about a paricular automobile and have ten favorable reviews, yet once one person indicates they've had trouble with that particular auto - we can't let it go. We most often, will take the 1 negative over the 10 positives and make that negative influence our decision.
Do I let 72 grants made over 5 years to an organization that supports abortion influence my opportunity to support an foundation that has given thousands of grants over 15 (or even more) years to organizations that truly value quality of life? I guess I have to weigh the costs...and I don't have to think very hard.
Right now I'm enrolled in an MBA program. I have Business Economics (I could go on and on in another post) and what I've gotten thus far is this....economics is all about trade offs. By choosing one aspect over another there are certain costs and sometimes choices are made withouth thinking about the secondary effects.
The email was sent to raise awareness about the misuse of funds. A particluar foundation gave money in support of a cancer program the grant seeking organization never enacted. Instead, the funds were thought to support another program, specifically abortion. So the idea behind the email was to "inform" me, before I decided to support the unnamed foundation via a walk/run etc. I should be aware what I "think" I'm raising funds for...I'm not.
So I took it upon myself to check out Guidestar and the Form 990. What I discovered is this Foundation spends hundreds and thousands of dollars supporting other organizations that do exactly what they are supposed to do with the monies! Pages upon pages list Universities and University Medical Centers - all of which are the hubs of brilliant minds that may one day develop a cure for cancer.
So, back to the email that was sent - encouraging me "not" to support the Foundation because it supports an organization that supports pro abortion. Yet, the Foundation is impacting and making real strides in supporting education, awareness and research of cancer (pro life? If I try to develop a cure for something that kills people...is that pro-life too?). Consider for a moment I forward this particular email to everyone I know and individuals decide to withhold their donations on the grounds one specific organization misused funds. We must ask ourvselves...what are the potential "side effects?"
There was no mention of the fact the Foundation has not made an recent contributions to this organization as well....as far as I'm concerned it is old news.
What I struggle with is the idea of being short-sighted. Stop giving - without considering the amount of good. I guess it goes back to the other book I started to read (and never finished) called "The Paradox of Choice" - we can ask ten people what they think about a paricular automobile and have ten favorable reviews, yet once one person indicates they've had trouble with that particular auto - we can't let it go. We most often, will take the 1 negative over the 10 positives and make that negative influence our decision.
Do I let 72 grants made over 5 years to an organization that supports abortion influence my opportunity to support an foundation that has given thousands of grants over 15 (or even more) years to organizations that truly value quality of life? I guess I have to weigh the costs...and I don't have to think very hard.
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
School shopping and underage drinking....
Ok. I took the kiddies out school shopping for all their supplies needed to survive the school year. Markers, crayons, spiral bound 80 and 60 page notebooks (which you cannot find either), pencil boxes, pink pearl erasers, Kleenex, wet wipes, quart size storage bags, pocket folders....yeah the list goes on and on. Yet, it was one purchase I want to discuss. The backpack.
Office Max had great deals yesterday and while I had hoped to find a backpack for my daughter elsewhere, she found a cute pink one there. I didn't pressure her to shop somewhere else because the backpack was a reasonable price AND it was 25 percent off. When I took it to the cashier I was asked "Would you like to buy the protection plan?"
"Protection plan?" I asked.
"Yes." "For an additional $2.95 you have a full year of coverage against broken zippers or if the bottom falls out of it, you can bring it back and we'll exchange it."
"Oh. So if I don't purchase the plan and the bottom falls out, I can't bring it back?"
"Well, no, not if it doesn't happen right away."
"How long do I have to bring back a crappy backpack if it falls apart?"
"I'll have to check...hold on."
So. With that the cashier pushes a button on her headset to speak with a manager.
In the meantime, I'm chatting with the woman in back of me.
"Wow. I can't believe that you have to pay extra in order to cover crappy workmanship."
The woman behind me agrees "Perhaps you should spend more money and get a better made bag."
Thinking she is correct, but not wanting to spend more than the $25.00 I was already shelling out I decided to take my chances. Looking to the cashier for an answer.
I have until September 20, 2008 for the zippers to break and the bottom to fall out of the bag in order to receive a full replacement.
Is this just a sign of the times?
I'm beginning to wonder!
Today I read in the Washington Post there are those who are proposing lowering the drinking age to prevent binge drinking. What? The problem here is not the age of the drinkers. The problem is the idea one must drink to get drunk! There are many adults who haven't figured this out and I'm sure lowering the drinking age will not solve the issue either. Why do we as a nation insist of trying to fix problems without working to find the root of the problem?
From immigration reform, healthcare issues to teenage pregnancy - the answers to all of these issues land in the root causes! Work hard to solve the problem by digging below the surface. I do not know why kids tend to binge drink. Perhaps binge drinking is the only way they understand how to drink - it is what they perceive to be cool, the only way they perceive they can have any fun, the only way to strike up a converstation with the opposite sex...you name it - there is a reason. What I do not understand is why we don't have converstations with our children about respect.
We can develop a resepct for ourselves, for the beverage, for our body, mind and spirit. We can learn moderation. We can learn self control. We can learn to respect.
I do think I should be able to let my children have a glass of wine with their pasta. I do think my children should be able to have a celebratory drink at a wedding or other special occasion. I do think I should be able to teach my children there is nothing special about alcohol - only that if you disrespect the power of the drink, you can lose everything.
We teach our children to ride bikes with helmets. We teach our children to walk across the street by looking both ways...why can't we teach our children about alcohol? Why must we treat it as if it is something forbidden? It is the way we teach that leads to the undesirable behavior.
Lower the drinking age? No. I don't think so. But take the time to teach your children...I think we should...but education is just another one of those things the general public thinks should be left to some else. That my friends is another blog entirely.
In the mean time - I'm going to test the strength of the backpack by shoving it full of everything that needs to go to school that first day. Yet...I can stop worrying about fixing the "workmanship issue" by purchasing a protection plan and while I'm spending more money to cover a product the store won't even stand behind I can only hope the drinking age will be lowered to the age of 6. Then my daughter can drown her sorrows over a ripped backpack with a case of Sam Adams and I can stand back and not take any responsibility for any of it.
Is this really the American way? Good Lord, help us all! (That is as long as I can say Good Lord).
Office Max had great deals yesterday and while I had hoped to find a backpack for my daughter elsewhere, she found a cute pink one there. I didn't pressure her to shop somewhere else because the backpack was a reasonable price AND it was 25 percent off. When I took it to the cashier I was asked "Would you like to buy the protection plan?"
"Protection plan?" I asked.
"Yes." "For an additional $2.95 you have a full year of coverage against broken zippers or if the bottom falls out of it, you can bring it back and we'll exchange it."
"Oh. So if I don't purchase the plan and the bottom falls out, I can't bring it back?"
"Well, no, not if it doesn't happen right away."
"How long do I have to bring back a crappy backpack if it falls apart?"
"I'll have to check...hold on."
So. With that the cashier pushes a button on her headset to speak with a manager.
In the meantime, I'm chatting with the woman in back of me.
"Wow. I can't believe that you have to pay extra in order to cover crappy workmanship."
The woman behind me agrees "Perhaps you should spend more money and get a better made bag."
Thinking she is correct, but not wanting to spend more than the $25.00 I was already shelling out I decided to take my chances. Looking to the cashier for an answer.
I have until September 20, 2008 for the zippers to break and the bottom to fall out of the bag in order to receive a full replacement.
Is this just a sign of the times?
I'm beginning to wonder!
Today I read in the Washington Post there are those who are proposing lowering the drinking age to prevent binge drinking. What? The problem here is not the age of the drinkers. The problem is the idea one must drink to get drunk! There are many adults who haven't figured this out and I'm sure lowering the drinking age will not solve the issue either. Why do we as a nation insist of trying to fix problems without working to find the root of the problem?
From immigration reform, healthcare issues to teenage pregnancy - the answers to all of these issues land in the root causes! Work hard to solve the problem by digging below the surface. I do not know why kids tend to binge drink. Perhaps binge drinking is the only way they understand how to drink - it is what they perceive to be cool, the only way they perceive they can have any fun, the only way to strike up a converstation with the opposite sex...you name it - there is a reason. What I do not understand is why we don't have converstations with our children about respect.
We can develop a resepct for ourselves, for the beverage, for our body, mind and spirit. We can learn moderation. We can learn self control. We can learn to respect.
I do think I should be able to let my children have a glass of wine with their pasta. I do think my children should be able to have a celebratory drink at a wedding or other special occasion. I do think I should be able to teach my children there is nothing special about alcohol - only that if you disrespect the power of the drink, you can lose everything.
We teach our children to ride bikes with helmets. We teach our children to walk across the street by looking both ways...why can't we teach our children about alcohol? Why must we treat it as if it is something forbidden? It is the way we teach that leads to the undesirable behavior.
Lower the drinking age? No. I don't think so. But take the time to teach your children...I think we should...but education is just another one of those things the general public thinks should be left to some else. That my friends is another blog entirely.
In the mean time - I'm going to test the strength of the backpack by shoving it full of everything that needs to go to school that first day. Yet...I can stop worrying about fixing the "workmanship issue" by purchasing a protection plan and while I'm spending more money to cover a product the store won't even stand behind I can only hope the drinking age will be lowered to the age of 6. Then my daughter can drown her sorrows over a ripped backpack with a case of Sam Adams and I can stand back and not take any responsibility for any of it.
Is this really the American way? Good Lord, help us all! (That is as long as I can say Good Lord).
Monday, August 11, 2008
How to argue and win...every time!
I started reading a book last night by Gerry Spense called "How to Argue and Win Every Time." I only started reading it because I was trying to clean up my house a bit - you know the whole clean sweep concept where you take everything, sort through it, decide what to keep, what to donate and what to sell. Well with this stack of books I thought..."maybe I should read them before I give them away."
I chose this particular book because I am a terrible when it comes to arguments. I am like a five year old. I ask permission of my folks and my spouse and when I don't get the desired result I feel as if I've done something wrong by asking. How is it I hand someone else the power? What I am hoping to achieve is to learn the appropriate way to handle certain situations that arise and what I can do to make it so each side is happy with the result.
Case in point. Last week while my children were up with their grandparents and my husband on the road I found myself alone. Alone time is good. Alone time is great. Yet, when I'm alone, I begin to think how I can fill my house with life and love. I began to think about hosting an exchange student. So I found a site online that shares their applicants and immediately found a young man I thought would be a perfect fit for our home. Without consulting the husband, I went ahead and made contact with the local placement person and scheduled a home interview. The woman said "Do you think your husband will go along with this?" I believed he would, especially if we could get the kid into our home school district. So when I hung up the phone I thought to myself "Yeah! We're hosting an exchange student!" Wrong.
Thing is, I approached the phone conversation with my husband the wrong way. I sought his permission. Like a child, I asked to host. Like a parent, he explained all the reasons I shouldn't. I didn't have an argument to win because I didn't approach it correctly.
The book is quite interesting - as it talks about the reasons why people don't win arguments. It mostly has something to do with "Locks." We lock ourselves into situations and we alone hold the keys to that lock. I know and understand I am used to being told what to do. I know and understand I am used to believing others have more authority because I have a hard time admitting I know enough.
Inside there is a very strong person dying to get out. Inside there is a woman that knows she is as special as sliced bread. But with a lifetime of seeking approval - it is difficult to simply break out. I need to find the keys to my own locks. I need to finish this book and I can't do it when I'm blogging!
I chose this particular book because I am a terrible when it comes to arguments. I am like a five year old. I ask permission of my folks and my spouse and when I don't get the desired result I feel as if I've done something wrong by asking. How is it I hand someone else the power? What I am hoping to achieve is to learn the appropriate way to handle certain situations that arise and what I can do to make it so each side is happy with the result.
Case in point. Last week while my children were up with their grandparents and my husband on the road I found myself alone. Alone time is good. Alone time is great. Yet, when I'm alone, I begin to think how I can fill my house with life and love. I began to think about hosting an exchange student. So I found a site online that shares their applicants and immediately found a young man I thought would be a perfect fit for our home. Without consulting the husband, I went ahead and made contact with the local placement person and scheduled a home interview. The woman said "Do you think your husband will go along with this?" I believed he would, especially if we could get the kid into our home school district. So when I hung up the phone I thought to myself "Yeah! We're hosting an exchange student!" Wrong.
Thing is, I approached the phone conversation with my husband the wrong way. I sought his permission. Like a child, I asked to host. Like a parent, he explained all the reasons I shouldn't. I didn't have an argument to win because I didn't approach it correctly.
The book is quite interesting - as it talks about the reasons why people don't win arguments. It mostly has something to do with "Locks." We lock ourselves into situations and we alone hold the keys to that lock. I know and understand I am used to being told what to do. I know and understand I am used to believing others have more authority because I have a hard time admitting I know enough.
Inside there is a very strong person dying to get out. Inside there is a woman that knows she is as special as sliced bread. But with a lifetime of seeking approval - it is difficult to simply break out. I need to find the keys to my own locks. I need to finish this book and I can't do it when I'm blogging!
Friday, July 18, 2008
John McCain doesn't know how to do what?
I heard on the news the other day that John McCain does not know how to operate a computer. Now, I know I am not supposed to believe everything I hear on the news (or should I say trust) but I have strong reason to believe he doesn't have a computer in his personal office. Why? Because he hasn't responded to my letter that I sent via a "fill in the blank" to his office in D.C.
I had convinced myself Senator McCain would reply to my letter as it was filled with much passion and a plea for help. I sat up until 4 AM reading testimony about the abuse of nonprofit organizations which are supposed to serve our veteran's of the armed services. I do not want to admit my disbelief, as I know there are many, many questionable organizations, yet I sat there, reading and re-reading testimony that broke my heart.
I wrote to Senator McCain asking for help, asking for guidance and asking for action to be taken against organizations that use and abuse service members - using them as "front men" to secure funds for one thing and have the board simply turn the other way as money is funneled into roundtrip airfares, country club memberships, bonuses and the like. I wrote to Senator McCain because of his involvement with veteran's affairs and the fact he too is a veteran. I thought I'd at least get something from his office...but now that I know he doesn't use a computer, I know someone in his office didn't feel it necessary to pass on the info. Do I think it will be any different if I send a letter? Perhaps not - but then I won't have an excuse for him not writing back...
Got any ideas who else I should write? Maybe I'll try Senator Obama...I'll let you know.
I had convinced myself Senator McCain would reply to my letter as it was filled with much passion and a plea for help. I sat up until 4 AM reading testimony about the abuse of nonprofit organizations which are supposed to serve our veteran's of the armed services. I do not want to admit my disbelief, as I know there are many, many questionable organizations, yet I sat there, reading and re-reading testimony that broke my heart.
I wrote to Senator McCain asking for help, asking for guidance and asking for action to be taken against organizations that use and abuse service members - using them as "front men" to secure funds for one thing and have the board simply turn the other way as money is funneled into roundtrip airfares, country club memberships, bonuses and the like. I wrote to Senator McCain because of his involvement with veteran's affairs and the fact he too is a veteran. I thought I'd at least get something from his office...but now that I know he doesn't use a computer, I know someone in his office didn't feel it necessary to pass on the info. Do I think it will be any different if I send a letter? Perhaps not - but then I won't have an excuse for him not writing back...
Got any ideas who else I should write? Maybe I'll try Senator Obama...I'll let you know.
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